Issue 171

News: Why no Update?
Well, I haven't told anybody about this, but I resolved last New Year's to update the blog at least three times a month. However, I haven't been living up to this resolution, and I think it's necessary to tell you why: Two weeks ago, I broke my tooth on, of all things, a chicken nugget. Of course, it wasn't an actual tooth; more of a reconstruction of a tooth that I broke eight years ago. However, before I could get that replaced, I had to have a root canal a week and a half later. Of course, between the nitrous, my listening to Love's Forever Changes [notice to anybody who doesn't want to talk about it: every song on the album is on YouTube, currently playlisted by somebody named sixties4ever13], and the fact that the tooth's pulp was dead, it was actually somewhat pleasant. On Tuesday, I'll be getting a temporary cap, and a permanent cap will soon follow. However, there's also another thing complicating matters considerably: For speech class, I have been working on a group project, and getting everybody together to film it has been a logistical nightmare. Fortunately, there should be enough material to mine several ideas for future issues to come.

Film Idea of the Day: "God Hardened Pharoah's Heart" I'm thinking about an alternative History about what could have happened after Hiroshima. It begins with a plot to assassinate Hirohito to stop him from surrendering. This leads to operation Downfall coming into play. From what I'd heard, the plan was, in essence, to drop seven A-Bombs simultaneously, and then, a few days later (possibly as early as 48 hours after), to have Allied infantry invade Japan without any protection from radiation to kill as many survivors as possible until surrender. The movie itself involves several soldiers trying to survive in the radioactive wasteland that was formerly Japan, trying to kill Japanese combatants, only to die themselves of radiation sickness.

Film Review of the Day: African Queen. As a longtime fan of Humphrey Bogart, and DVD collector, I was surprised that only now was this movie, the only movie for which Bogie won an Oscar, getting a DVD release. I admit that it may not be on par with a lot of his movies, like Maltese Falcon, Treasure of the Sierra Madre, or Casablanca, but it's still a good movie, even if, after the restoration, the cinematography was really not as good as an Oscar-winning Golden Age Hollywood Technicolor movie deserves to be.

Quote of the Day: "Let all the world witness how many different means Fortune employs when she wishes to destroy a man."
__________Benvenuto Cellini, sculptor, memoirist, and first recorded serial killer.

Link of the Day: Nothing this week.

Issue 164

News: Thoughts on smoking.
I'm not a smoker, and I'm not even pro-smoker, but I certainly consider myself anti-anti-smoking. I got inspired to write a piece on smoking after hearing a message about how Anti-smoking groups criticised Avatar for having Sigourney Weaver smoking; I shudder to think of the minds of somebody who walks out of Avatar and thinks "I can't believe that Ellen Ripley was smoking!" Simply put, I think a big reason I dislike the Anti-smoking movement is that their movement hinges upon two things: one) explaining to people something that I'm sure most of us have known well from the age of five: that smoking kills, and two) the assumption that everybody who hears the facts will give up. The fact is that, by this point, all the movement has done is separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff; keeping potential smokers who care for their healths from smoking, but leaving a strong subculture of people who smoke despite knowing full well that it will ultimately kill them. The way I see it, the smoking industry thrives today not by lobbyists who try to downplay the effects of smoking, or people who claim that smoking is cool, but by an impulse of slow and steady self-destruction that no amount of recapitulations of "Well you should care, but I don't care" or laws that restrict opportunities to smoke (restricting opportunities being a very poor way of stomping out a problem) will end. Really, I must admit that if a person has a desire to speed up the inevitable, I see no reason to stop him, and by the inevitable, I am not just referring to death, but also to cancer. I learned in my genetics class last semester that even if we could get rid of every other disease, cancer would still kill us. And incidentally, cancer isn't just a slow-killing disease caused by environmental factors; it is ultimately caused by faulty replication of DNA that makes cells diseased, immortal, and willing to infect any other . Even if we got rid of smoking entirely (and I'm not even talking about a Prohibition of cigarettes; I'm talking about a time when we cease to feel the need to smoke), cancer will still be inevitable. In short, I think that if we put everything into perspective, and keep at the forefront "memento mori," my perspective begins to make a lot of sense.

Film Idea of the day: A story I'm in the process of writing: a man walks down North Pier in Chicago, and is followed by another man and jumps into the water, drowning. The puesued is a former Nazi commandant and the pursuer is a camp survivor. This is told from several perspectives; a police report, two witnesses, and the two men involved.

Film Review of the Day: Sherlock Holmes. Well, this movie has certainly shown its work and is, for all its stylised nature, probably has the most accurate performances of Holmes and Watson, even keeping his actual straight pipe and losing the deerstalker. Admittedly, I was somewhat disappointed that they didn't keep his cocaine habit, but considering that he only uses it in two stories (out of 60), and his use of a tincture would be so alien to modern audiences that it wasn't that much of a big loss. And for that matter, I kind of winced at the portrayal of Irene Adler, considering that the movie turned her from the archetypal femme fatale to the resident analogue to Molotov Cocktease from the Venture Brothers, and while I tend to dislike sequel hooks in movies, especially when it leaves the movie as it is incomplete (like in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film), I do think it is justified when there really is a sequel in the works, and as it turns out, there is.

Leon the Professional- I recently came across this film while doing research for my Hitman story, and surprisingly, there is little writing on the inner life of the hitman, and I can count the number of nonfiction books I could find centered around hitmen on one hand, but there are a lot of movies about hitmen, and probably, this is one of the best, except perhaps Pulp Fiction, but even Pulp Fiction had surprisingly little actual focus on the hitmen doing their jobs, but this one does. Perhaps this may be the film I draw on the most for that project.

Quote of the Day: "The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide."
_______________Kurt Vonnegut

Link of the Day: Bad Webcomics Wiki. I have just heard of this site reviewing some of the most brain-breakingly insane ideas for webcomics, from stories about wolves who molest children because of their brain tumors, to a very poorly researched Mafia story that rips off Twilight, to incoherently done PSA Comics about law (one sample panel is here. Try to figure out what they're doing.) to just plain inane Anti-semitic propaganda. Please prepare to be offended by the horrors within, both by the subject matter and the supreme awfulness of style.

Issue 151

News: Licensed Parenthood.
Honestly, the more I hear about child abuse in the media, the more I think that it should be mandatory for anybody who wants to raise a child to have a license to do so. Here is a plan that I have for this: SImply, any couple, or single parent who wants to adopt or raise a child would have to take a test to see how fit they are to raise a child, and if they fail to pass muster, they wouldn't be allowed to raise children. If they do, in fact, have a child, despite having failed the parenthood test the last time they took it, what would happen to the child is simply this: it would be given to a couple who has passed the test. There would likely need to be no penalties for the parents (maybe a "slap on the wrist" fine), but I think that having a child taken away because of their negligence would likely be enough. Indeed, the way I see it, everybody would win. Potentially abusive parents would not have children, so the children benefit, and, in addition, as a result of this, domestic adoption businesses would have much more business and likely be much more solvent than they have in decades.

Band Name of the Day: The The Orchestra. See Below.

Film Idea of the Day: Untitled. The plot: two stoners discover that their dealer has discovered a new strain of Marijuana that is so rare that they have to get it from a time vortex from the 1930s (anybody who's seen Reefer Madness and compared the effects of marijuana there with a later film should notice the joke.) Once there, they end up having adventures in Hollywood trying to find it, while being followed by another set of time travellers; the world's largest rock band, a 30-some piece band called "THe The Orchestra."

Film review of the Day: Walker. In keeping with my increasing interest in the latter-day western, I recently rented this movie. It was supposedly so poorly recieved that not only has it not received much of a home video release since its original release 20 years ago, but it actually got the director "Blacklisted" from Hollywood productions. Of course, in hindsight, even though I was not as immersed on the Nicaraguan Civil War that this movie was indirectly commenting upon as the original audience would have been, I actually found this movie to be very interesting. I suppose my background in Brechtian technique actually helped me, especially with its increasingly obvious anachronisms. I would reccomend that anybody who watches this movie not only get some information on America's involvement with the Contras (for background on the allegory), and read Brecht's Mother Courage (for the technique).

Quote of the Day: "When I use a word, it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less."
________Lewis Carroll

Issue 50

News: Perfect list of things to sell your soul for.
If you know your Blues history, you would know that Robert johnson was said to have sold his soul to the devil. If you knew it well, you would know that the story was mostly told by Son House after his death, and that a man known as Tommy Johnson had actually claimed to have sold his soul to the devil, despite the fact that he remains more obscure. And so, I wonder why when someone sells his soul to Satan, he just gets one thing. Here is my list of things that would be perfect for me to sell my soul to Satan for.
If there was only one thing:
*The souls of the Homeless of Chicago (for all the things on the below list)

If I didn't require just one thing:
*A TARDIS-extention to my room, so I can collect all the DVDs, Books, CDs, and VHSs I want without sacrificing too much space.
*Free Borders (with CD, DVD and VHS) visits for life.
* One of FDR's cigarette holders. (Not necessarily with cigarette holder, but I like the visual aesthetic.
*My own T-shirt company to produce Black T-shirts with some very odd sayings on them (i.e. "A squid eating dough in a polyethelene bag is fast and bulbous, Got me?-Frank Zappa")
*A dinner date with Woody Allen, a la My Dinner With Andre, so we may discuss film and Jazz.
*The film rights to Catcher In the Rye.
* A defunct amusement park or theatre to convert into a recording studio/music club/theatre.
* A complete collection of Chick Tracts.
* Even if I didn't just need just one thing for which to sell my soul, I'd still take the souls of the homeless for more things when needed.

Band name of the Day: Snakes on Crack. Comes from the movie Snakes on a Plane, reviewed below.

Film Idea of the Day: A man preaches homophobia to penguins at the zoo. It's more of a Diogenean Theatre thing.

Review of the Day: Snakes on a plane. In a rare review of a film that was in theatres at the time of the review, Samuel L. Jackson boards a plane, filled with snakes. It gained a cult following a few months before it was actually released in theatres. It was worth the wait that was anticipated on the internet.

Quote of the Day: "You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know. During the Persian Gulf war, those intelligence reports would come out: 'Iraq: incredible weapons –
incredible weapons.' How do you know that? 'Uh, well ... we looked at the receipts.'"
_________Bill Hicks.

Link of the Day: Happy Tree Friends: A simultaneously cutesy and violent internet TV show.

Issue 18

News: Now that I got my enemy list out of the way, I would like to tell you about my "Friend list" of people that I wouldn't mind hanging out with.

David Byrne- He is the lead singer of the Talking Heads and confesses he has not a clue what he is doing.

Michael Moore- For all you critics who try pointing out details, listen to the big picture: THE RIGHT is not right.

Thomas Pynchon, James Joyce- Two famous writers who most likely never met each other, but both have written 800-page long incomprehensible books that I find to be cool.

J.D. Salinger- I have to get the Film Rights to The Catcher in the Rye somehow.

Woody Allen- His films are Truly Brilliant.

Hunter S. Thompson- Humourist who wrote Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and hated Nixon as much as I do Bush and his cronies.

John Stuart Mill- From his book On Liberty: The sole end for which mankind are warranted, individually or collectively, in interfering with the liberty of action of any of their number, is self-protection. That the only purpose for which power can be rightfully exercised over any member of a civilised community, against his will, is to prevent harm to others. His own good, either physical or moral, is not sufficient warrant. He cannot rightfully be compelled to do or forbear because it will be better for him to do so, because it will make him happier, because, in the opinion of others, to do so would be wise, or even right... The only part of the conduct of anyone, for which he is amenable to society, is that which concerns others. In the part which merely concerns himself, his independence is, of right, absolute. Over himself, over his own body and mind, the individual is sovereign. In other words, He believes that the law should not interfere with a person's freedom, unless when absolutely necessary (read: When harm to an innocent would be entailed.) So do I.

Close But No Cigar-
Dennis Miller- He frequently ranted about political matters that I could agree with, and I actually understood most of the references, but he turned pro-bush recently.

Film Idea- 3 short films about America.
Three films, all satires on America, although one is a 23-minute spoof of reality TV, while 2 45-minute shorts are based on obstensively true stories.
1. The Media: If it Drives, GO Live. A man is driving along the street, and obeying all the traffic laws. He stayed within the speed limit, and gave proper hand signals whenever he wanted to make a turn. Yet he still is being followed by a local all-news station.
2. Religion: Blossom. A dog digs up a neighbour's rabbit. Its owner gives it a wash-up and blow dry, and puts it back in its cage. The neighbours are shocked to discover their dead rabbit came back to life. The Husband forms a religion, which exists long enough to see a splinter group of people who constantly pray (read: get plastic surgery to look like Kip Dynamite but older, jog in circles, and sing 50s Doo-Wop songs) to it.
3. Reality TV: Trash My Ride. Rapper xZma selects an unwilling participant to have his car destroyed while he raps so obscenely, half of the song is bleeped out.

Review- A talk about Bloom's Western Canon. Famous Critic Harold Bloom released a list a few years ago about the books that defined the western world. This list made a lot of the P.C. Crowd very angry. The reason is because its list tends to rely on all those people whom have been known as the founders of Western Civilization, instead of the works of Asia, Africa, and South America. I believe he did the right thing because, quite frankly, which group tends to have more literary influence, The European literature, or the literature of Asia, Africa, and South America? Personally, I and a lot of other people admit that, as interesting as some aspects fo their cultures are, it is given that outside of Asia, Africa, and South America, the literary traditions of Europe do indeed tend to be more known. Besides, as one famous Roman said, "De gustibus non disputandum." "There's no accounting for taste."

Quote- "Why this is my responsibility I have no Idea, so I'm only going to say this once: I order you to enter the latrine and defecate!"
___________ Buzzcut, Beavis and Butthead.

Link of the Day- www.newspeakdictionary.com
A man compares Orwells 1984 with life in 2005. Check out the forum, also. I am Orwelliantherye.

Tract Review-
Cats- Daniel in the lions den.

Caught!- A man is caught in adultery and asks Bob Williams for sympathy. He instead lectures him on David and Bathsheba. 13 of 25 in the Bible Series.

Charlie's Ants- Charlien loves his ants! When their lives are in danger, a friend tells him about how Jesus becama a man to save humanity.

The Choice- Why we have a choice to Choose Jesus.

Cleo- When the family dog runs away, she is kidnapped by a dogcatcher. The Family rescues her in the nick of Time.

The Contract- As Seen in Angels? , This is about how Satan owns people who haven't accepted Christ.

Creator or Liar- Too Close to call.

The Crisis- As a girl bleeds to death, Jehovah's witnesses learn they will burn in Hell.

The Curse of Baphomet- This time, Masons burn in Hell. So Ridiculous.

Dark Dungeons- Apparently, D and D is tied to Satanism when a girl kills herself when she was forced to leave the game.

The Death Cookie- Apparently, The Egyptians turned Satan turned The Catholic Church on to Communion according to this tract. The same type of wafer used by Protestants.

The Decieved- After talking about Satan in the Bible, 2 Muslims somehow realize that Satan Controls the Vatican controls Islam. Onw would think that he would get common sense after all these Years.

A Demon's Nightmare- A day in the life of a demon constantly thwarted by The Word.

The Devil's Night- Yet another of Li'l Suzy's misadventures when she convinces a friend that Halloween is Satan's Night.

The Dirty Diamond- A family turning down a $3 million diamond becomes a metaphor for God's salvation.

Doom Town- The Story of Sodom is related.

The Dreamer- Joseph and the technicolour Dreamcoat without Donny Osmond.

Earthman- Don't let the title fool you. It is just another tract explaining creationism.

The EMpty tomb- The Life of Jesus.

The Execution- As a man is sentenced to do something that hasn't been done legally since 1936 (Hang), he learns about Jesus.

Fallen- A man is beaten constantly, and laughs at God. Bible Serie #19 of 25.

Fat Cats- Why Chick thinks a Communist Revolution will not work. Maybe not communism, but Democratic Socialism, I'm all for!

Fire Starter- Not to be confused with the superior Steven King Novel, This is about How God sent fire when Ba'al did not.

The First Jaws- The Story of Jonah.

Flight 114- 2 missionaries died in a plane crash and are condemned by God. Huh?

The Fool- A king gives a Jester a wand to give to a bigger fool than himself. Then, when he is dying, he is given the wand.

FRamed!- When a man is arrested, Bob Williams tells the story of Joseph being sold into slavery. #6 of 25 in the Bible Series.

Frame-up- A priest tells a convict about the Pharisees' fight to put Jesus in Jail.

COmpletely ridiculous, but that's why I like them.

Issue 17

News: A lot has happened. I might as well put up a list of People I hate.
ENEMY LIST:
Mia Farrow- For Accusing Woody Allen of being a child molestor.
Orlando BLoom- For having every single thing he touches turn to crap.
The Conservative majority of pundits claiming that the media is too left-wing.
Bush's Cronies- But not Bush, for reasons I will explain below.
The Religious Right- I have a special reason for this, too. I was in an extremely right-wing school where I was teased mercilessly until my mind got this cynical.
Nixon- The Fact that he is dead does not change the fact that he was the worst president until Bush Jr.
Harry Chapin- For composing the most depressing corpus of music known to man.

CLOSE BUT NO CIGAR:
George W. Bush- I did not include him because I believe he is too stupid to actually be the one orchestrating the decisions made in his career.
Jack T. Chick- Like the Religious right, but I included him on the CBNC list because his tracts are so wildly inaccurate, they are hilarious.

Band Name of the Day: Wicked Lizard. At one point in the Reduced Shakespeare Company's version of the bible, one man tells how God thinks about how Satan was a Wicked Lizard, and that Wicked Lizard would be a good name for a Metal band.

Film idea of the day: It is a TV series about a cynical teenager adopted by a 4-parent bizarrely PC family with children of several different races. The episodes primarily revolve around the family trying to make him a complacent and PC boy and failing miserably. One episode, (an hour long special) includes the family forcing him to undergo Cocaine rehab. The only problem, is that the closest thing he's ever done to drugs is toast a poppy-seed bagel.

Review of the Day: Stop Making Sense. I recently watched this film, and was blown away, and it now takes my vote as the greatest concert film ever because of the fact that the focus is almost exclusively on the band, leaving me more time to focus on the instruments the guitarists are using, as well as the fact that the music is also excellent.
True Stories- David Byrne directs, writes, composes, and stars in this film about a reporter covering the sesquicentennial of Texas. Seeing how little we have of the film's soundtrack (it is great), I wish the incidental music, the Talking Heads' covers, and the songs as performed in the movie were in the same package.

Quote of the Day: "The Christian Right is neither Christian Nor Right"
______________The Reduced Shakespeare Company, in the Complete Word of God (Abridged)

Link of the Day: http://www.skokienet.org/teens/teenstalking/derekspeaks/

Chick Tract Review: In this section, for the next few issues, I will be reviewing the Aforementioned Chick Tracts, but not only am i taking it with a grain of salt, I am pouring the skaker on each tract. A-B today.

The Accident- When an Aristocrat's carpet is stained, his butler decides to talk about how Jesus Removes the stain of sin.

Allah had no Son- A man and his son walk in on a group of Muslims praying, and deconstruct their faith in front of them, including mentioning dubious evidence of Allah existing before the 7th Century AD.

Angels- While Satan reveals that all kinds of music were created by him, A Christian Rock Band sells their souls to the devil and all the members die one by one until the singer reads, of all things, A Chick Tract about the same thing, and the Devil is defeated.

Apes, Lies, and Miss Henn- A little girl named Li'l Susy debunks evolution, because of the pre-existing and contradictory 2 consecutive creation stories in Genesis don't mention evolution.

Are Roman Catholics Christians?- Jack says no, I say anybody who claims to be Christian is one, except for Fred Phelps.

The Assignment- Angels in Heaven are doing a play-by-play of a dying man's last minutes.

The Attack- Chick explains how The King James Bible is superior to all other versions, including the original Hebrew and Greek Texts.

Baby Talk- A woman is convinced to not get an abortion. I cannot Wait to see Baby Talk II, in which Ashley realizes what a living Hell the baby made her life into, even though Chick probably scrapped it because it was too much like David Lynch's Eraserhead.

Back From the dead- A man comes back from the dead and claims to have seen Hell. This answers up an important question: If we accept the stories of Men who came back to life from Death as fact, then should Gene Ray's time cube be explained in school?

Bad Bob!- A huge drug Dealer survives a prison fire and turns to Christ.

The Beast- Satanism is devouring the world, or so Chick thinks.

Best Friend- A little girl, not the one mentioned Earlier, tells her best Friend on how to get another best friend: Jesus.

Bewitched- It talks about how Satan tries to balance making the life of a 15-year old stoned girl, and reruns of his favorite show, of the same name as the title.

Big Daddy- Another anti-evolution tract riddled with information with no real proof.

Big Deal- #5 in the Bible Tract Series, Bob Williams (the main character) teaches a friend's brother about the story of Jacob.

Big Spender- A man wins a gamble, almost loses his life and completely loses his money. He learns the story of the prodigal son.

The Birds and Bees- Li'l Susy is Baaack and debunks why Gays are not evil, according to an old outdated law book.

Boo!- Teens learn the Truth about Halloween: That it is the night in which Satan worshippers andf Druids stalk the Earth to kill random people.

The Brat- An illustration of the Prodigal Son Parable.

Burn Baby Burn- Schadrach, Meschach, and Abendago. Not much else.

Busted!- The assistant to a prosecutor tells him that he is living in sin, and the prosecutor dies as his secretary converts.

The Bull- A bulky convict is put in solitaty and is saved by Reading a Chick Tract.

Originally Written by July 27, 2005

News: Not much happened, so I decided to do a "Bottom 10" list of things that bug me.
10. Sports- I can't see why people enjoy the sight of a ball being moved around an open space by a bunch of Pituitary Cases.
9. Bullies. I was subjected to their abuse for several years in grade school and have had to go to a high school where I was sure most of them wouldn't come after me, and now my mind is as twisted as Chubby Checker. And I'm proud of that last fact.
8. People who think that anything and everything has to have purpouse and meaning.
7. Hollywood and its current habit of churning out /Heaven's Gates-/waiting-to-happen with astronomical budgets.
6. Fred Phelps. He is a psychotic bigoted preacher from Topeka who keeps 4 websites running at the same time. One of them says, among other things, one of his four sites claims that The Tsunami happened because of 2000 gay swedes vacationing in the Indian Ocean's islands. What about the other 240,000?
5. Restriction of Freedom of Speech- Incredibly, this includes the hate speech laws. Sure, I believe those minorities protected are doing absolutely nothing Wrong and it is the people who say hurtful things who are wrong, but as much as I truly detest admitting (and I put this mildly) it, they have as much right to speak their minds as those they persecute.
4. Orlando Bloom.- I've seen 3 of his films. They each are very bad.
3. Stupid People
2. Stupid People who can't keep their mouths shut if you sewed their lips shut.
1. Terrorism- Now, check out my "bottom 4" sub-list"
d. The Middle Eastern type we are told to be afraid of by the media.
c. PETA- Sorry, Paul, but any group that stalks people constantly just for one offense is a terrorist organization.
b. The Religious Right- Esp. people like Fred Phelps.
a. The Government- Post-9/11.

Band Name of the day: Swamp Rabbit. This comes from a bizarre incident where President Jimmy Carter was attacked by a rabbit in a pond. I kid you not. Link to the photo at: http://www.narsil.org/politics/carter/killer_rabbit.html

Film idea of the day: An untitled Montana Surreal film. In it two pregnant actresses plan on having two girls after they give birth and raise them just like them. After one of them gives birth to a boy, and one of the plays she auditioned for in her pregnancy but didn't get roles in was a hit. This drives her to become an abusive stage mother and make her son dress up as a girl.

Review: Keeping in theme with the "NEws" section, I have decided to review stuff that was very bad.
Proust's Rememberance of things Past/ In search of Lost Time- I have a confession to make. Atlas Shrugged was not the longest book I have ever read cover to cover. That honor belongs to Proust's 7-book snoozefest about a semi-autobiographical account of his life. How can something I learned about from Monty Python be so dull?
Lord of the Rings (the movie), Troy, and Pirates of the Carribean. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Quote of the day:
" I wouldn't say a word to them. I would listen to what they have to say and that's what no-one else did."
__________ Marilyn Manson, when asked what he would say to the kids at Columbine if they were with him.

Site of the day: www.insertdisctwo.com
This website is the host of a low budget sketch comedy show called Insert Disc 2. The people involved (Chris Dunkle and Lori Williams), are in college, and originally put this show out on cable access TV. The website has the episodes of said show, as well as a few more sketches of an upcoming show. It also has short films unrelated to the show by the same people.

And in addition, A film from a 15-year old public access talent show from Peoria. Forgotten until recently, John Daker (who, if he was discovered earlier, could have been the next Andy Kaufman) sings (or more acurately, sings badly for some parts but mainly forgets the words to) "Christ the lord is risen today" and "That's Amore". He also does bizarre facial expressions while he sings. Please, If anyone has anyone knows how I can contact him, tell me. Here's the link: http://www.ifilm.com/ifilmdetail/2675247?htv=12

Originally written on July 11, 2005 II

News: As Promised, I will finish what I started. This time, I will deal with other non-related-with-the-government-but-still-political issues. *Same Warning as before: If offended, Scroll down to the Band Names section. *My views on abortion: I am a pro-choicer. I believe that it is necessary in a country where the Media Glorifies sex, because unwanted pregnancies will happen. Also, with my experience with life so far, it makes sense to abort, to escape a bed life before it is lived. It can also be used to end diseases like Down’s Syndrome, and can also be used In stem cell research in the fight against cancer. On the Flip side with Terri Schiavo, I believe it would make sense that they took out the feeding tube. She was in a coma for 15 years and couldn’t do anything but breathe or blink on her own, and was also used as a puppet by her parents, at least, that’s what must have happened, as there was no way she could do anything else, according to the autopsy. And on political Correctness, I believe that it is basically Newspeak. And also note Voltaire’s Quote: “I am against what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”

Band Name of the Day: The Spinsters of Utica. This is a line from Allen Ginsberg’s poem Howl, and originally stream of consciousness drug induced ramble from Carl Solomon, whose words were used in the poem.

Film Idea of the Day: (Surreal Chicago film)

Untitled Currently-

Plot- June 16, 1924. 20 years after the events of Ulysses happen. A flapper (bearing a striking resemblance to Julie Andrews [Note: I based this film on Thoroughly Modern Millie, as well as The Fifth Element, and Spirited Away], and having recently moved from Kansas to New York City) is kidnapped by a group of aliens from the future calling themselves the Existential Extraterrestrials (So named for their habit of Hoarding Existentialist Literature.) Their disturbingly-Thickly-Armed Leader briefs her on the mission: To Get a job at a radio Station to stop a DJ from taking over the world.

Characters (As this is a Character Driven Movie)-

The Flapper (As of yet unnamed)- As mentioned above, is a flapper from 1924 who is kidnapped by aliens. She is a walking anachronism (Like Austin Powers in the First movie). I plan on having a complete unknown play her.

I plan on putting Derek Jacobi (Shakespearean Actor known for Cadfael) in 2 roles:

The Existential Extraterrestrial Leader- Without his constant quoting of Sartre and Co., and his disturbingly turgid arms, he would be just another clone of Obi- Wan Kenobi. His followers are basically Homages to the Rebels in Sleeper, who freeze Woody Allen in an attempt to overthrow their leader.

The Station Head- A Don Imus look-alike with the most bizarre cowboy hat you have ever seen in your life. He is also seemingly incapable of speaking coherent English, although he does clearly say "Schnapps?" At one point in the movie. Also, the other people in the film can understand him perfectly, but the viewing audience cannot. He is also the one who puts the DJ up to taking over the world. The Flapper waves a rusty tailpipe in his face until he explodes, which he does.

The DJ- He is the one that the EET's believe runs the world. When He finally realizes that his boss plans on taking over the world through his show, he refuses to take part. He is jailed in the basement. I plan on having a male model play him.

Victor- A visual cross between George Orwell and Cary Grant, He is convinced that he is from the future and a war hero. In one scene, he destroys a photocopier thinking it is an old friend who betrayed him in a war called "Mechanical Advantage VI." Most of the people in the movie view him as a nut, but he figures into a romantic comedy subplot with The Flapper. (Played by James Fleet)

The Socialite- There is also a middle-aged socialite who regularly appears at the radio station unannounced and seemingly out of nowhere. Giving a new meaning to the phrase "Obscenely Rich", she regularly swears, which is inexplicably bleeped out, to add to the surrealism. She also carries around a small dog which she frequently holds to people's faces, and occasionally attributes her cursing to. She is even Stranger than anybody in the film, even the Station Head or Victor. (Played by Sharon Osbourne.)

Review of the Day- Duck Soup. In it, Groucho Marx becomes the dictator of a small country named Freedonia. Chico and Harpo spy on him, and Zeppo, in his last film role, plays Lt. Bob Roland. This was the film that saved Woody Allen from suicide in Hannah and Her Sisters.

Quote of the Day- “Life can be only understood backwards, but must be lived forwards.”

_______Soren Kierkegaard.

Link of the Day- www.fanimutationwiki.tk (Flash not required, but if you want to see the movies they talk about, you need it)

But since I linked to it in Gieef Annotated, I will make another link

www.uncyclopedia.org

This site is about making incredibly inaccurate information in an encyclopedia. E.g: The Teletubbies were quarterbacks for Notre Dame from 1920-4, St. Peter’s Bascilica is a monster, and a list of the presidents of the USA including everybody from Ayn Rand to Garfield to Jesus to Kermit the Frog to Your Mom.

(Originally Written July 11, 2005)

News: Not much has happened. I can’t really think of anything to talk about, so I’ll just explain my political Views until I can think of something else more interesting to write about.
*Warnng: If you are offended by my Left-Wing views, please scroll down to the Band Name of the Week. You have been Warned. *
I am against Bush and his War on Islam, I Mean, Terror. I am also not in favor of his war with Iraq, because we seem to be there for no reason. First we are there to find WMDs. Then there are no WMDs. Then we become a holdover government until they can elect a new government. They did, yet despite the regime change and lack of Nukes, we are still occupying Iraq. Why? Just admit your real agenda: To destroy the Middle East, except for Saudi Arabia, because they give you and your family more than you are given to be the President. Sure, It’s Intolerant and bigoted, but at least it’s a reason for us to stay in Iraq and Keep imprisoning people who have the wrong ancestry and/or religion, He said sarcastically. I am also against the USA PATRIOT ACT. It is all about limiting our personal freedoms so that Terrorists don’t have to. Because of it, random people can have their phone wires tapped, people can be put in foreign prisons for no other reason than they are from the middle East or Islamic, with no hope of a trial.

(To Be Continued.)

Band Name of the Week: Carey Grant’s Acid Trip. I know what you May Be thinking, “HUH?” Well, Here’s the answer. In LOOK Magazine, September 1959, He Said he took LSD when it was still legal, and found inner peace he couldn’t find with hypnotism, therapy, and other methods. For the Record, I don’t do drugs. Eccentricity: My Anti-Drug.

Film idea of the Day: I forgot to mention this categorization system I have:

Real Chicago Films- Mainstream Comedies (Like Gieef.)
Surreal Chicago Films- Extremely Bizarre Comedies
Real Montana Films- Dark, depressing, Tragedies.
Surreal Montana Films- Pure Lynchian Horror.
Derivative Works- Films based on a previous source.
Mockumentaries- Films that transcend each of the above Genres, and are formatted as documentaries.

Today’s Idea is Caedes. In this Film (Surreal Montana), After a man named Vic is beaten up, he becomes a priest and after he meets Buddy Holly (Gary Busey) and rescues him from a closet, things get bizarre. Situations include where Vic does a confessional where the confessor drinks himself to Death, and at his funeral, he recites the Latin Version of the Lyrics to “The Alice’s Restaurant Massacree”, his bath water turns to blood, A man playing the same chord progression on the guitar narrates his life, and Buddy Holly Bleeds strawberry Jam, all this leads to a Shyamalanesque conclusion.

Review of the Day- Easy Rider: After selling their car to Phil Spector, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper ride Harley Davidson Choppers across America, and meet Jack Nicholson, as well as Take acid with 2 hookers in one of the most brilliantly filmed scenes in cinema history.

Quote of the Day- "Why can't a Democrat get fired up about protecting the environment and enacting gun control legislation just as right wing Republicans get fired up about making sure that children have access to assault weapons and banning 'The Catcher in the Rye' and 'Harry Potter'?"

__Moby. (Note: I don’t really listen to his music a lot, but I like his quote.)

Links of the Day: (Note: You need Flash to watch these movies.)

www.homestarrunner.com

(Or if your browser can’t handle the menus, try the below site.)

www.hrwiki.org

http://www.skokienet.org/teens/teenstalking/derekspeaks/
PS: Thanks for all the comments that my last blog entry recieved. Just keep the sites not spam-like.