Issue 30

News: Wot??!!&,:;%${} is finally finished.
In issue 27, I remarked about how I had the idea for a play with the above title about a teenager who walks into the house of a family in a New York town while a murderer is out loose. I managed to finish it this Friday, and while it still is somewhat bizarre and its scenes tend to be disjointed (on purpose) and random, it still seems to have some kind of overlapping theme: That of Schrader (The Name of the Teenage Boy), Sean (The name of the family's son), Judy (The name of the family's daughter), and Pops (The family's father), trying to ensure that The Pyro (The murderer) gets kicked in the Groin for all eternity. Luckily, the last scene ensures that the play has an ending so bizarre and disjointed with the rest of the play that it can only be compared to Stroszek's dancing chicken.

Band Name: Chameleon Blinder. In this month's issue of Mad magazine, there is a spoof of blogs which includes the remark that somewhere there is a man whose profession is "Chameleon Blinder", after reading in class that even blind Chameleons adapt to their surroundings.

Film Idea: A feature of my future sketch show entitled "Diogenean Theatre", it includes stunts being done in the name of politics, or at least God-knows-what, including:
*"The Ayn Rand Memorial Stunt"- Going to an abortion clinic where pro-lifers are protesting and urging the people to "Bury undead corpses".
*Asking people to cash a bill.
*Re-enacting the famous V-J Day kiss in front of times square, and havign it being interrupted by Naked Cowboy (who despite the name, always dresses up in boots, a hat, and briefs)
*A maraige by proxy of Pat Robertson (Hater of stem-cell research, which could save millions of lives), and Ingrid Newkirk (Founder of PeTA, which hates animal research, which also saves millions of lives, including one vice president of PeTA.)

Review: Neil Young: Heart of Gold. The best film of the year so far, Jonathan Demme directs this film about Neil Young performing at Nashville's Ryman theater, including his most recent album in its entirety, and some other hits (no My My Hey Hey, or After The Gold Rush, though.) Also of note, at one point, he remarks that the guitar he is using belonged to Hank Williams, Sr., who performed there frequently when he was alive. Also, in the style of his previous concert film Stop Making Sense, Demme shys away from using shots of the audience. Unlike its predecessor, there were no shots whatsoever of the audience in this, and in the one shot where it could be expected, the seats are empty. 5/5.


Quote of the Day: Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it.
__________Mark Twain.

Link of the Day: Here you will find out the meaning behind the naming of the "Ayn Rand Memorial Stunt."

Review: Jack T. Chick's The Marraige Mess. Yes, it's true. Chick also wrote full-fledged graphic novels.
Chapter 1: A missionary brother to a Christian family (MArk) realizes his family is not as Christian as he thought.
Chapter 2: MArk wins his family over.
Chapter 3: Mark reunites father and son, while also ending Marijuana and Vodka addictions.
Chapter 4: After being raped, the daughter fears she might be pregnant. MArk uses a fetus' diary to show that abortion is murder. (even if the Bible tends to not view infants under the age of 1 month old, much less feti or embryos or blastocysts as valuable lives. [Gen. 38:24, Ex. 21:22-3, Lev. 27:6, Nb. 3:15-6 5:21-31, 2 sam 12:14, Hos. 9:14, 16, 13:16 all KJV ].) This does not explain how the fetus was able to write or even talk about her own death. Luckily, it is a false alarm, like in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf., which leads us to...
Chapter 5: Mark manages to save a family's marraige after one party cheats, claiming divorce is actually more cut and dried as it is in the Bible. (see Mk. 10:11 and Lk. 16:18, compare it with Mt. 5:32 and 19:9, compare that with 1 Cor 7:15, and finally, Dt. 24:1-2, All KJV.)
Chapter 6: Mark shows his family that every political leader was "God's Annointed", including Hitler. "Stop the Lord's Annointed in His Tracks! Buy War Bonds". Later, he manages to help various people, including carjacking a woman with a baby's car, to get her baby to the hospital (it needed to be burped).
Chapter 7: Mark confronts the father about his love life and manages to help save hs maraige.
Chapter 8: Mark decides he is no longer needed and leaves.

Issue 29

News: Why I do not use Oprah's Book Club.
With all of the hubbub surrounding Oprah's book Club with James Frey and his Book "a Million Little Pieces", I feel obligated to write a piece on Oprah's Book Club. I feel doubly obligated to do so because of the fact that I am from the same area from which she shoots her show, and because I am a voracious reader. Early on this year, it was discovered that Frey told lies in his book that proved his "memoirs" were false. On January 26, 2006, Oprah Confronted him about the lies (She had named his book for her book club in September 2005) in his book and he admitted to having made the book up. Two weeks before, she had called in on Larry King when Frey was on the show and said it didn't matter whether it was true, but that it could be used as a tool of inspiration to other drug addicts. She apologized for this remark on her show. This is not the major reason that I do not follow her book club. The number one reason is that she, for the most part, chooses books which are primarily One-dimensional and Schmaltzy, like The Five People you Meet in heaven, which is not actually one of her selections, but will most likely become one if and when she manages to read this blog anyway. If she wants my vote, she needs to pick up more novels like Catcher, or La Nausee, or Atlas Shrugged, or Ulysses, or Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. You see, there are many other types of novels she can use for her book club. Maybe she should try them.

Band Name of the Day: Ace Bundy. During a random wikipedia Search, I wound up finding a picture of, or all things, Ted Bundy obstensively yelling and flailing one arm in the air. I kid you not.
I got the idea of putting the "Ace" part in front of it because it reminded me somewhat of a scene from Ace Ventura Pet Detective in which he yells and slides a sliding door open and shut.

Film idea of the Day: S. Bronx Paradiso, a Gadsby-esque dark comedy satirizing the american dream, it is about two brothers who make it rich by making and selling weapons. It is supposed to make people think: What happened to the American Dream?

Review of the Day: Today, we're going to do something Different. Today, I will review an episode of King of the Hill, called "Hilloween." It is about all the dangers of taking Chick Tracts seriously. For most of the episode, Hank and the gang try to put up a Haunted house, and Luanne briefly becomes a fundementalist who is brainwashed by a woman named Junie Harper (Sally Field) who claims that Halloween was created by the Druids (it was created by the Catholics). After she realizes Hank's plans to have a haunted house, she, surprisingly for a fundementalist, invokes the principle of Separation of Church and State. After this, Hank Teaches his son Bobby to prank other peoples' houses. After showing up on Junie Harper's lawn, she runs over her own cat and petitions for halloween to be canceled, which it is. About this time, Bobby is guilty and Luanne convinces him that Hank is a Satanist. After this, Harper holds her own "Hallelujah House" to turn others to Christ. Luanne drops Bobby off there. Some exhibits shown include a teenage couple dead as a result of their necking, and a family with their grandpa: An ape. This segment is in the quote of the day section. About this time, everyone in the town, Luanne included marches to her house, and Bobby eventually rejects them.

Quote of the Day: (Scene: A dining room with 2 parents, a daughter, and a plastic baby.)
Dad: Dinner's Ready. Where's Grandpa?
(A man in an ape costume enters)
Junie: OH! That's your grandpa?
Dad: Haven't you heard? Our ancestors are monkeys.
(The ape grabs the plastic baby and dismembers it
Mom: Oh no! He's eating the Baby! Stop him, Honey!
Dad: We can't. It's against the law to teach creationism.
(The audience is shocked.)

Link of the day: A video of a man purchasing an iPod and smashing it on the spot.