Issue 199

Note; Posting Frequency. Remember what it was like earlier? I used to post every Sunday. By the time I graduated from High School, I had posted only about three times a month. Soon it dwindled to two posts a month. Come 2011, it came down to one post a month. Now, due to my work at Columbia College, I'm somewhat surprised at the fact that I'd be able to do the one post a month. I write three 3-5 page papers every week, and I often have a major project's due date hanging over my head. If a month goes by where I don't post, dark lord forbid, don't be too surprised. Now, on to another of my rants...

News: Wanna totally lose faith in humanity? Since I started my work at Columbia, I've discovered a few stories that catch my radar. One story was about a Dutch shipbuilder who has been trying to show that the Bible is literally true by trying to build a life-sized model of Noah's Ark and taking a massive amount of measures just to make it seaworthy, including having it towed by smaller boats. Another is that, after 18 years in jail, the West Memphis 3 have finally gotten released, but only after releasing a statement that said that the prosecutor had a lot of damning evidence against them, even though, in real life, the best the prosecutor could do was that they listened to Metallica, dressed in black, and dabbled in paganism, all of which, to an extent, are qualities that apply to me. However, there's one thing that really makes my blood boil that I recently discovered: Josef Mengele Fangirls. Yes, you read that right. There are girls who are getting all hot over a Nazi War Criminal who created medical experiments so unspeakably disturbing that it even makes me wince. And yet, all over Deviantart, there are people who make fanart that makes him look like a cute little boy and photoshopped photos of him saying things like "I (heart) JM" that just serve as a place for his fangirls to drool over this monster. I can understand if there's art of him saying "Trust your doktor" with him grinning like Jack Nicholson. That's actually somewhat amusing in a Dead baby sort of way. What really disturbs me about all this is that it doesn't seem like these are just white supremacists who would deny the reality of Mengele's crimes against humanity. These seem, by all accounts, to be just normal people who seem to have a crush on a guy who liked to sew Jewish twins together. Suddenly, the mentality of Twilight fans seems less unsettling. And so, I leave you with a Bill Hicks quote:

"You know, we're f***ed up here. I tell you, Satan's gonna have no trouble taking over here 'cause all the women are gonna say: "What a cute butt." "He's Satan!" "You don't know him like I do." "He's the Prince of Darkness!" "I can change him." And I bet that's true, man. I wouldn't give Satan a snowball's chance in Hell against a woman's ego."

Film Idea: I had a dream. And it included a remake of David Cronenberg's Dead Ringers that is more utterly unhinged than the original, and in the roles that Jeremy Irons and Jeremy Irons originated, the Olsen Twins.

Link of the Day: The home of the most insightful and disturbing look into George Lucas' Star Wars Prequel Trilogy.

Meditations of Dirkus Aurelius: 51. Human relationships are often more trouble than they're worth.
52. Blood Drive workers are pretty blasé about the prospect of being a pawn in a Catholic Church-sponsored hoax.
53. The more the list goes on, the probability that anybody understands all the references I put in the first time dwindles.
54. The Doctor Clown Club will not allow you to base your clown persona on John Wayne Gacy.
55. The Doctor Clown Club will not allow you to base your clown persona on either member of the Insane Clown Posse
56. The Doctor Clown Club will not allow you to base your clown persona on Pennywise.
57. The Doctor Clown Club will not even allow you to base your clown persona on Mr. Jelly from Psychoville.
58. Audiences are not ready for a story where several plot lines hinge on an act of bestiality.
59. Do not talk about the Armenian genocide with a Turkish man.
60. Whistling Shania Twain's “Man! I Feel Like a Woman” does give away too much of the plot of The Wasp Factory.
61. Tom Waits will never get back to me about my numerous requests for him to cover “Barbie Girl” on his next album, whenver it comes out.
62. If whittling down a film idea to a few sentences, “This leads to sex” should not be the second one.
63. You cannot have sex with everything in the universe, so don't try to do so.
64. Justin Bieber is, in fact, male.
65. Colin Firth will never willingly strap a chainsaw to his groin and go hog wild in a movie.
66. Too few people appreciate singers with deep voices.
67. Sex in a car going over 90 miles an hour is just asking for trouble.
68. Sex with a car going over 90 miles an hour will not end well.
69. The number 69 is not, in and of itself, funny.
70. James Bond likes his martinis with vodka. He has also been pistol-whipped enough times that, if he was real, he would be brain-damaged. This link should be investigated further.
71. Even when we do get to the point of cloning humans, it will still take a long time to get people to have sex with their own clones.
72. The Bible does not tell you to smoke lots of pot.
73. I should not expect to have a piece of paper saying “Harry locked his mother in the closet” stay taped to the linen closet long just because my mother had a Jane Austen quote painted to the bathroom wall.
74. This applies even if the closet is too small to fit anyone in it and has no lock.
75. Religion doesn't change people. It just makes them more of the same person they already were.