Issue 168

Issue: More on Autism.
Upon further research, I managed to Harry Lime myself. Two issues ago, I said that even in a newborn, it would have to take 2000 vaccines for the amount of thimerosal in vaccines to kill it. I found out a few days later that, of all the vaccines that are given to kids before the age of six, only seasonal flu vaccines even contain it, and not all flu vaccines contain it. In short, by this point, thimerosal is even less of an actual threat to their children. I mention this A) Due to my need to correct myself, and B) Because there is actually a possible new treatment for autism that might possibly work. From what I've heard, there is supposed to be a drug, currently called STX-107, that is supposed to limit a receptor that the pharmacologist Mark Bear believes could cause autistic behavior in Fragile X syndrome. It certainly seems interesting, although, admittedly, there is no concrete evidence yet that it could actually generalize results to patients all over the autistic spectrum, or, for that matter, that it can actually work in humans, but it is nevertheless interesting news. This raises an important question; I have hyperlexia, which is on the autistic spectrum. I have been able to fake my way through the Neurotypical world. Given that the disorder gives me a unique perspective on the world, would I take drugs that limit it? All I can say is that given my habit of blacking out and sometimes freezing when reminded of my abusive old school, not being able to relate to people is probably the least of my mental problems.

Film Review of the Day: Stalag 17. Who would have thought that a movie about being held hostage by one of the three most evil regimes would be so... light-hearted? I'm honestly quite surprised that somebody managed to make such a lighthearted movie about Nazi camps with the memory of Auschwitz so fresh in many minds, but I suppose the fact that it's just a POW camp and not Treblinka certainly helps with the mood dissonance.

Quote of the Day: "If the vaccine companies are not listening to us, it's their f___ing fault that the diseases are coming back. They're making a product that's s___. It shouldn't be polio versus autism.”
_______________Jenny McCarthy. The mere fact that she actually prefers a disease that cripples and kills kids slowly to autism should say a lot.

Link of the Day: Jenny McCarthy's Body Count.

Tract Review: Going Down? Folks, I truly have no idea what is going on here. The first four pages chronicle a Western Story. I can only assume that it is supposed to be a Deadwood reference about four years too late. The story switches to Jim Backus watching said western, while his wife Susan Boyle complains about the swearing (nonexistent, I might add. Not even symbols.) They get into a car crash and call their pastor Patrick Swayze and berate him for telling him that Hell doesn't exist. After having nightmares about Jim, Susan, and John Waters (who makes no other appearance in the tract) welcoming him to Hell, he has nurse Judy Ken Sebben from Harvey Birdman introduce him to somebody who looks like either Jimmy Carter or my Grandpa, who makes him rededicate himself to Jesus Christ. Ladies and Gentlemen, even with his history of claiming that the Catholic Church is directly responsible for every evil on Earth since the Edict of Milan to making some tracts with baffling premises, this would probably be the crowning evidence that Jack has some serious mental problems. Read it here.

Issue 167

News: The Vaulting of Classic Movies Has Left me In Despair!
(Important Note: I came up with the title long before I lost control of my laptop [Something which has left me in despair], basing it on a series called Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei.)
Of all the classes I took at Oakton, my least favorite one was my section of Contemporary Culture and the Arts. Between the obtuse texts and disturbing photographs, it was one of the most depressing classes I'd taken. One of the few rays of light that came in the class was a showing of Chaplin's City Lights to ease our way from photography to the City, but that silver lining had a touch of grey when I realized that A) Despite acquiring the first volume of the Chaplin Collection, I never acquired the second volume which included City Lights, among other films, B) It was out of Print, and C) It was virtually unobtainable. After a failed attempt to order the movie online in November from a retailer that didn't even have it, I eventually resorted to eBay, and with my parents' help, I got it. As it turned out, virtually all of Chaplin's copyrighted films were out of print. The sole exception was 1967's Countess from Hong Kong. The realization of this shocked me. I mean, Chaplin was one of the greatest filmmakers of all time; why put his works out of print? I mean, imagine if all of Alfred Hitchcock's copyrighted films were unobtainable except for Torn Curtain. For that matter, imagine if Torn Curtain was the only Julie Andrews movie that was obtainable. I later managed to get a hold of the Third Man when I learned that it had gone out of print, and managed to buy it before I had to resort to eBay. And this is, in my opinion worse than what Walt Disney has been doing for years with the "Disney Vault." After all, with the Disney Vault, there is a known schedule; you can expect that a few years after the movie gets out of print, there will be a new, improved edition. And for that matter, at least Disney puts the movies in a rotation, as opposed to just taking them all out of print at once.

Film Review of the Day: The Kid, The Gold Rush, City Lights, Modern Times, The Great Dictator, and Limelight. - Really, all you need to do is to watch one of these movies to make you reaize that it is practically a crime to put all of these movies out of print.
The Circus- I haven't seen this one yet.
Monsieur Verdoux- Many other directors would kill to make a movie like Monsieur Verdoux. It really says a lot that this movie isn't even in this director's top five.
A Woman of Paris- I haven't seen this one yet, either, but from what I've heard, especially due to its sheer Out-of-place nature in Chaplin's oevure.
A King in New York- It's okay. Certainly not a masterpiece like many other movies Chaplin's made, but it is actually pretty funny. In fact, just because of the fact that it includes a scene in which we see Chaplin go to the movies and watching some previews, and one of these movies is Glen or Glenda. That's right; one of the greatest cinematic minds in history and one of the worst directors of all time meet. I can only imagine what would have happened if he had heard about Coleman Francis.
The Chaplin Revue- Well, it is a compilation of three of his last short movies with his narration and score, but at least those three shorts are among his best.

Quote of the Day: Wars, conflict - it's all business. One murder makes a villain; millions, a hero. Numbers sanctify, my good fellow!
__________Charlie Chaplin, in and as Monsieur Verdoux.

Link of the Day: Have you ever wondered what you really believed about the world? Here you can figure it out, somewhat.

Issue 166

News: The Thiomersal Controversy.
A few weeks ago, I signed up for a human Development Class, but I eventually transferred to another section after the second class. Three things crystallized my desire to transfer: 1) Her claim that if one couldn't relate to people (and I honestly cannot), the class would be very difficult indeed, 2) She showed "The Business of Being Born" in class. As I mentioned earlier, it was poorly researched (attempting to coorelate infant mortality with hospital births), biased (no, bias implies that the other side is represented, in however poor a light. It's not a documentary, it's not even a propaganda piece; it's an infomercial), and very poorly done. The third thing was that she seemed to show that there was a link between vaccines and autism. I openly facepalmed when she brought it up. And in light of the fact that the Lancet recently retracted their paper which claimed that there was a coorelation between the MMR vaccine and Autism, I think it's necessary for me to do a little piece on the controversy. Here's the summary of the controversy; some parents of autistic children believe that autism is caused by vaccines. To make this seem somewhat less of a leap, they claim that the Thiomersal in some vaccines causes autism. No word on why this didn't do anything to most of the children who received the vaccines. Folks, I'm going to set the record straight; Thiomersal isn't in all vaccines. And even in those vaccines it is in, it is used in very small quantities [.1 mg, which is sufficient for a preservative], and considering that the lowest lethal dose of Thimerosal is 60 mg/kg, it would seem that there is very little danger. To put it into perspective, keeping in mind that the average weight of a newborn baby is 3.2 kg, it would take over 2000 vaccines to kill it. And please bear in mind that almost nobody is recommending that anybody take anywhere near that many vaccines in their entire lifetime. However, when I looked into the controversy I found something interesting; while some of these parents claim that mercury is poisoning their children, guess how they try to cure it: by putting more hazardous chemicals into the bodies of their children. Yes; it's called Chelation therapy, and it works by using chelating agents that combat lead poisoning to turn the thimerosal into a safer chemical; of course, by the time people get into it, it's already been metabolized, so, in essence, you're trying to use a potentially hazardous chemical to neutralize a chemical that's already been neutralized. And, in addition to not working, it has been known to cause a few deaths.

Band Name of the Day: We Will Not Use Styptic Pens in the Future. Of course, we hardly ever use them now.

Film Idea of the Day: Death Park. A short story idea I'm currently working on. It has a man going to his brother's theme park, apparently to become a partner, but it turns out that the rides are almost all dangerous (for instance, a wave pool so dangerous that it boasts 30 saves per day), and some (like a looping water slide) are even lethal. Based on a true story, or more accurately, a real water park. Imagine if Kafka's "Penal Colony" was actually a waterpark.

Film Review of the Day: The Third Man. I recently bought this movie online, and just today I received it, getting it before it becomes nigh on impossible to find (an issue I hope to get into later). I haven't watched the disc yet, but I know I have seen the movie before, so I'll go from memory. Simply put, it is probably the greatest British movie of all time. From what I remember, my favorite parts were the score (the happy zither score manages to throw the bleakness of the events happening around it into sharp relief,) and, simply put, Harry Lime (The most amazing thing is that with all the acclaim about his character, it's easy to forget that even mentioning the fact that Orson Welles is in the movie is a major spoiler. And, for that matter, even though he may not have had as major a role in making the movie as previously thought, the parts he did contribute managed to do something I previously thought was impossible; a point which is inaccurate, but even in being made wrong, only furthers his point.)

Quote of the Day: "In Italy for 30 years under the Borgias they had warfare, terror, murder, and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci, and the Renaissance. In Switzerland they had brotherly love - they had 500 years of democracy and peace, and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock."
_______________Harry Lime. No, the Cuckoo Clock is a Barvarian creation. Damn, Harry, even when you're wrong, you're right.

Link of the Day: Just so you're clear, Death Park will be based on an actual park. Even the looping water slide, unfortunately.

Correction: Two issues ago, when I posted a link to the Bad Webcomics Wiki, I made a remark about a wolf that molests children due to a brain tumor. I was, in fact, mistaken. The wolf is actually a mouse. Yes, it is a mouse that is the size of a wolf.