Issue 197

News: Laurel and Hardy are finally coming to DVD.
You may remember that last month, I made a list of the funniest movies, in my opinion. Of course, I made a few mentions of comedians/films I loved that I omitted from the list, and five stick out in my mind.
1) Woody Allen. As I mentioned, I had a lot of trouble narrowing it down to one good, representative film, and I was torn between five of these films.
2) The Ruling Class. I removed this film from the list mainly because it was unavailable at the Skokie Public Library, and, for a 1-disc, $40 DVD, it's pretty hard to find in the flesh world, but I strongly suggest that my readers seek it out.
3) Mel Brooks. I honestly don't know what happened there. I would have chosen Blazing Saddles if I managed to get it on the list, and recommended virtually all of his other films (except for Life Stinks.)
4)Buster Keaton. I love his works, but I still think that Chaplin is a better comedian. I still recommend The General.
5)Laurel and Hardy. Why did I forget to put them on the list? Because of their checkered history with DVD.
Until fairly recently, there were only a few DVD releases of their films, and here are my summations of what was available on Disc:
*TCM Archives: This two-disc set contains Fra Diavolo and Bonnie Scotland. Unfortunately, these films are definitely not their better works. Unlike the Marx Brothers, Laurel and Hardy's films do not work as well when they're not the main focus.
*Laurel and Hardy Collection Vols. 1-2: These films are, in fact, widely considered among the worst of their careers. Somehow, these films were given a big boxed set treatment before their classic works with Hal Roach.
*March of the Wooden Soldiers: This film got a colourised DVD release from Legend films. Unfortunately, the nursery-rhyme themed work does not at all jibe well with the rest of their filmography.
*Flying Deuces. This film is in Public Domain, and, as a result, it has been given quite a lot of DVD releases, and the best one is, without a doubt, the edition by Kino, at a cheap (for them) $15. However, the film is not really that good, and the film's darker tone (they narrowly escape execution by firing squad only to have their plane crash) just doesn't work well with their pure slapstick comedy.
*The Lion's Gate edition of Sons of the Desert. This, unlike the others does contain a lot of the duo's best works, including Sons of the Desert, which would have been my own pick, if the film was on DVD, and Music Box, one of their best shorts. The problems? One: The picture quality of the DVD is abysmal, bordering on unwatchable. Two: It's out of print, and it sells for obscenely high prices (the lowest price I've seen on Amazon is $31 used, despite selling for $15 new.)

All this has changed with the recent announcement that RHI entertainment is putting out a 10-disc boxed set which covers all their films (except for the films in the first four DVD editions described) from the advent of sound film in Hal Roach Studios in 1929 to their last feature film for Hal Roach, Saps at Sea in 1940. For what it's worth, there was another DVD boxed set of all of their films until 1940, which, curiously enough, also omitted the same feature films as the new set, but also included the silent shorts they made together and colourised versions of the sound films, which, of course, made the European boxed set heftier. Of course, the loss of the silent films isn't too bad for me, because I, and, indeed, most fans, prefer the sound films.
However, I am still somewhat miffed by the fact that they removed the colourised versions, and unlike a lot of film buffs, I tend to have a nuanced view of film colourisation, and, while I know a lot of old Black and White Films don't work well in colour (I saw a colourised version of The Maltese Falcon, and the colour worked about as well as you would expect.) However, some films don't really lose much when colour is added, and Laurel and Hardy's films are among them.
Going back to the original topic, lack of colourised versions aside, it looks like this boxed set would, in fact, be an excellent addition to anyone's DVD collection.

In the meantime, if anyone wants to know my Laurel and Hardy Recommendations:
Shorts: Night Owls, Another Fine Mess, Berth Marks, Laughing Gravy, Helpmates, The Music Box, Them Thar Hills, Tit For Tat.
Features: Sons of the Desert, Chump at Oxford, Saps at Sea.

Film Idea: A sitcom about a high school academic bowl, specifically about the relationship between the coach (I'm currently thinking of an actor with an Estuary accent for some reason) and the five eccentric members of his team:
*A biology/life sciences specialist with a habit of dressing in odd costumes.
*A chemistry/math/physics guy who sleeps with anything that moves.
*A Generalist with Asperger's syndrome who struggles to fit into society.
*A hot-headed History guy with a specific love for the American Civil War who is prone to threatening violence on anything.
*The sports person, a chirpy lesbian with a love for bunnies.

Meditations of Dirkus Aurelius

I, Derekaxe, being of sound mind and body (as far as either of my parents care to know), and having reached the age of 21, have decided to share some of the many lessons I have learned in my life. Be forewarned that many of these lessons get dark and downright insane.

1.Never underestimate the possibility that both sides of a given conflict are beyond redemption.
2.Very few charities will accept sperm as a donation, even if it is worth more than they've raised all day.
3.There is no such thing as “The Song that Ends The Earth,” so quit trying to write it.
4.Using rabies to go back in time to become your entire male line of ancestors only works in Chuck Palahniuk novels.
5.Using rabies to go back in time to become both your entire male and female line of ancestors doesn't even work in Chuck Palahniuk novels.
6.None of Van Morrison's songs have actual lyrics.
7.Jumping into the shark tank at the Shedd Aquarium is a bad idea, especially when you're nude and fully aroused.
8.Stephenie Meyer will never allow a spin-off to Twilight where Bella dies and Edward and Jacob bond over drinks and realise how much they've been wasting their times with her to exist.
9.Do not expect people to agree with you that Thirty H's is one of the great short stories of all time, right up there with “A Good Man is Hard to Find,” “The Overcoat,” “Hills like White Elephants,” and “A Perfect Day For Bananafish.”
10.It was not Aquinas who said that the best things in life were “to crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and hear the lamentations of their women.”
11.The stars and planets do not heave through the void just to be “skewer't bypon ourn fagpoles.”
12.No matter how similar their shows are, HLN will never combine Jane Velez-Mitchell's and Nancy Grace's shows into one show called “Two Hours' Hate.” That would make too much sense.
13.Whenever you are in a hurry, the hounds of Hell will come to do everything they can to slow everything down.
14.Do not expect to be able to get a vegan to eat meat.
15.This goes triple if you've baked somebody who wronged them into a pie.
16.The Olsen twins will never sign on to a remake of Dead Ringers with themselves in Jeremy Irons' roles.
17.Doing a bad Billy Conolly impression somehow causes people to understand you more than speaking normally. Nobody knows why.
18.80% of all transvestites are heterosexuals. Don't expect anyone to acknowledge this fact.
19.Some people are sexually attracted to anything, whether animal, vegetable, or mineral, many of whom are Dwarfs.
20.Drilling a hole in the ground and humping it does not count as having sex with the planet Earth.
21.“Devourer of Worlds” is not a title that you can add to the end of your name.
22.Do not expect to be able to get away with saying anything is against your religion if you just created it.
23.There is No Spoon.
24.Do not claim that you have come up with things that cause David Lynch to scream like a little girl until you've actually met him.
25.No matter how much you may think your life sucks, there is always somebody who has it worse. His name is Christian W. Chandler and he lives in Ruckersville, VA.