Issue 92

News: Dick Cheney says "War in Iraq was a bad idea".
I discovered a video from 1994, wherein Dick Cheney remarked that a war in Iraq would eventually become a quagmire. He remarks that, even after one takes out Saddam's government, there's not going to be too much stability, and that a war would in the end be not worth the amount of casualties. Of course, thirteen years later, what he said became true, and every American knew it. Every American, except for, ironically, Dick Cheney, who apparently changed his mind about an invasion of Iraq in 2002, a full two years after reaffirming his 1994 statements on Meet The Press. He managed to predict the future of the invasion of Iraq, but incredibly somehow managed to forego his own warnings and went with a plan to invade Iraq anyway in a quixotic quest to bring democracy to the middle east. At this point, I have not much else to say but that I needed a story and decided to go with this one.

Band Name of the Day: The Five Minus Four against Fighting. An answer to another "band" name.

Film Idea of the Day: A TV series about a family, including two very eccentric children (adults who still live with their parents). The main focus of the show is one of the "children", who was released into his parents' custody after harassing a telethon, and works primarily for a fledgeling Weekly World News-style tabloid called Trash News, and to a lesser extent, his sister with a flossing compulsion.

Film Review of the Day: The Shining. It's actually a great film. Nowhere near A Clockwork Orange, but still great. I must say that there was only one part that truly scared me. It wasn't the part with the ghostly twins, the "redrum", the halls filling with blood, Jack trying to kill his wife, the jarring shot of Jack frozen in the snow , or even the decomposing woman, but Shelly Duvall's face.

Quote of the Day: "I don't have low self-esteem. I have low esteem for everyone else."
__________Daria Morgendorffer.

Link of the Day: Breaking News: Jack T. Chick finally photographed.

Issue 91

News: RIP WWN ASAP.
Recently, one of my guilty pleasures, the Weekly World News printed its final issue. This would make the first time in which a magazine which I bought religiously has been cancelled for good. (The same Issue of Guitar One has been on newsstands since April, but there has been no news on its current status.) According to the WWN itself, there was something about a spaceship launch that would have been elaborated upon in the final issue (which I got a few days ago, and wasn't elaborated upon). According to Wikipedia, the real reason was so confusing not even the editors could understand, but allegedly, their syndicate wanted to focus on its many celebrity weeklies, and the WWN, with its low 90 thou circulation, had to go. I myself have been a devoted reader for the better part of five years, and have gotten many film ideas from that magazine. My mother always confesses that she feels embarassed when she has to buy the WWN for me and doesn't even believe that they are even going to cancel for real and that she expects to see a copy of the WWN on the newsstands next week, even though no less of a respected news source than Reuters have reported that said closure is, in fact, real. At this point, I must say that at least there's Mad, Guitar Player, Guitar World, mental_floss, and probably Guitar One (if it ever comes back) to help me kill time. Admittedly, not as good story fodder, but edifying.

Band Name of the Day: Hokey Pokey or Die! From my favorite all-time WWN headline (about Kim Jong-Il).

Film idea of the Day: All Hell Breaks Loose. From the penultimate issue of the WWN, it is the story of how the infamous denizens of the Ninth Circle of Hell converge upon a small town in California.

Film Review of the Day: Shock Treatment. The sequel to Rocky Horror which took several actors from the original film and placed them in different roles, but put two characters from the original film and recast them. I must say that it is eerily prophetic of the days of reality TV, with Janet holding Brad prisoner in a mental asylum built into the TV Studio-town of Denton so she can get ratings. This also makes sense with how it didn't do as well at first as Rocky did. The songs, are just as great, however, as in Rocky Horror.

Quote of the Day: "The sun never sets on those who ride into it."
__________The Narrator of Shock Treatment.

Link of the Day: Wonder where (insert famous dead person) is buried? Look no further than here.

Issue 90

News: Kenny G's New Day job.
As anybody who has read enough into the archives fo the blog can tell, I like Jazz. Not "smooth Jazz", but real Jazz. One smooth Jazz musician who particularly rouses my ire is Kenny G., who for many other people, epitomizes everything wrong with "smooth jazz", particularly because it manages to go far from its heritage in as mediocre of a direction as possible. In fact, at least two guitarists have leveled scathing criticisms of him: Pat MEtheny, in the form of an interview, and Richard Thompson, in the form of a song entitled, appropriately enough, "I Agree With Pat Metheny, Kenny's Talents Are Too Teeny", which he plays in concert, but has yet to put to record. With this in mind, I have come up with a new plan for his life: he will become a Kabaddi player. In case you are the 99.9% of readers who don't know what kabaddi is, I will tell you what it is and why G would be perfect for it. The object of the game is a larger-scale version of Tag, where a "raider" is sent out to tag members of the other team. However, from the time the raider is sent out to the time he comes back, he must take only one breath, chanting the name of the sport throughout the entire breath. This is where Kenny G comes in: He is well known for having once held a note on his saxophone for a whopping 48 minutes. If he can do that, he can certainly continuously chant "Kabaddi" for the same time (maybe even longer) in a game which lasts roughly 40 minutes.

Band Name of the Day: Scott Pine and the Conifers. From a Monty Python skit about a skit about an all-tree talk show.

Reviews of the Day: Rent. I recently rented this film before I went to Door County, and I must say that I liked it enough to have watched it twice before I returned it. I'm not sure exactly what appealed to me about it, but then again, if I liked A Man Called Peter (which is even less likely to have appealed to me), I guess it's best to say de gustibus.
Hannibal Rising. I finally got the DVD of the film a week or so ago, and while many fans of the Hannibal Lecter series hated the film, I felt that it developed the character of Hannibal more than any of the other books and films.

Quote of the Day: -Do You Think God intended to Eat Isaac?
-No. The angel interferes in time.
-Not Always.
_______Hannibal and Lady Murasaki Lecter, from "Hannibal Rising."

Link of the Day: The aforementioned Kenny G bashing interview.