Issue 165

News: Two in One today.
1) Salinger RIP.
Two days ago, a great man died. His name was J.D. Salinger, and I can safely say that his novel, The Catcher in the Rye, changed my life. When I first picked up the book at the age of thirteen, I was being bullied at my grade school, and it had a particularly profound effect on me in at least two major ways; the first was that it got me back into reading fiction and enjoying it. Admittedly, it would be my reading Ulysses in Freshman Year that would get me to do so regularly, but really, it was this book that had the most profound effect on me (because for once, I actually had a book whose protagonist I could relate to.) The second, equally major, thing was that it effectively hardened me. I suppose that in my view, my Schopenhauer-esque personality, preferring the company of books to people, is ultimately a result of my attempt to cope with the abuse at school catalyzed by my reading of this book. I don't think it would be too much of a stretch to admit that if not for Catcher, I probably might not be here writing to you today. I read his other works, and these were less interesting to me, but, to be fair, Catcher was a hard act to follow, and it's no wonder he didn't publish any other novels after it. After leaving Slaughterhouse-five (my name for the school that abused me), Catcher still continued to have a major influence on my writing habits. In fact, my first major project as a writer was an attempt at an ultra-faithful screenplay of Catcher in the Rye, one which I'm sure will never be filmed. And, in fact, I have long considered living similarly to the reclusive J.D., except that I would be more open to publishing than J.D. was in the last 45 years of his life. And now, he's gone. Ave atque vale, Jerry.
2) Thoughts on Teenage pregnancy.
This was going to be the sole News section of today's blog until the death of Salinger. Earlier in the week, a Lifetime movie of the week aired that dealt with the Gloucester pregnancy pact. I didn't watch most of it, but I did watch a short section where the principal was talking with some concerned mother, and claimed that they probably wouldn't have gotten pregnant if they had just been taught abstinence. Here's my two cents; every sex ed course worth its salt teaches that abstinence before marriage is the best option, and even Planned Parenthood's website has a section on abstinence which states, in essence that it is the best way, except that in this day and age, it is not exactly realistic. Well, I suppose that she likely meant that they should teach it only, but the fact is that programs that only teach abstinence have almost uniformly been shown to be ineffective, and there's a very simple explanation; humans are wired to have sex in their teenage years. We are not supposed to wait until we are 26 to use our sexual organs, that was simply a byproduct of the industrial revolution and compulsory education. Priests aren't even abstinent these days, so why does anybody think hormonally-charged teenagers will be? In the end, there is only one way we can truly expect our society's teens to be abstinent before marriage, and I will use Loretta Lynn to illustrate it; by the age that most of her peers were graduating high school, she was a mother of four. I want you to think about how that makes you feel. If you really want to find a way to make teens wait until marriage before sex, family lives like Loretta's would have to be considered not something to pity, but to emulate. In Short: If you want to create a society in which you can reasonably expect teens to save sex for marriage, be willing to choose between that and a modern education.

Film Reviews of the Day: Two more in one; One good, the other bad.
Death Note. I really don't know how to explain this one to the uninitiated; a teenage boy gets the power over life and death and becomes the killer known as Kira, who kills criminals with heart attacks. After this, he gets involved in an increasingly elaborate game of Cat and Mouse with a reclusive detective about his age that goes on for years and gets increasingly ridiculous. I recently got the film version, and I must admit, that it is probably a very well-done distillation of the first few episodes of the series. I also got the sequel which covers the rest, but I haven't seen it yet, and I'm sure it does the same for the rest of the series. Sure, the dub gets pretty transparent at points, but it is still good.
The Business of Being Born. Not since Red Zone Cuba has ninety minutes dragged on for so long. I just watched this movie for my Human Development Class, and it was so poorly done that it actually made me consider transferring. I know that the subject of birth is not one that interests me, but really, that's not why I consider it bad. The big thing which ruined the experience of watching the film for me is that it doesn't seem to know where to end. In other documentaries, we know what the climaxes could be and where to end. In a movie about birth, like this, it could end with a woman giving birth, but as it turned out, the movie has several sequences where we see women (including the executive producer, Ricki Lake) giving birth at home. This could have potentially have been done well, by, for instance, intercutting the births that the women go through, but no, they just show the births happening in sequence. In a movie that pushes an agenda, the end could be where some of the advocates of the view talk about how a change is going to come and how they'll be proven right, but this happens several times and the movie doesn't end. It seems that most of the second half of the documentary is comprised of the endings of what could have been more interesting documentaries on birth, and especially in the last few minutes when it includes increasingly pointless scenes and keeps fading to black after each one, the movie makes you want to shout at it to end, and even in class, at one point, I actually said out loud "oh, come on!" Another thing I found odd was that there was no acknowledgement of the other side. I mean, even in movies like Fahrenheit 9/11 or Expelled, the filmmakers at least had the courtesy to include interviews with opponents, or at least to have them represented with stock footage. This movie has none of that. It seems to latch on to the idea that Europe has the highest infant mortality rates in the developed world because they all do home births (and it can't just be that America generally has some of the poorest health care in the developed world)In the end, it actually made me want to watch Expelled again. Sure, it is painful to see Ben Stein sacrificing all credibility and acting like an idiot, but at least it was sort of stylised well, which is something I can't say for this movie.

Quote: "Don't ever tell anybody anything. If you do, you start missing everybody."
_____________J.D. Salinger

Link of the Day: Watchmen: The High School Years

Issue 164

News: Thoughts on smoking.
I'm not a smoker, and I'm not even pro-smoker, but I certainly consider myself anti-anti-smoking. I got inspired to write a piece on smoking after hearing a message about how Anti-smoking groups criticised Avatar for having Sigourney Weaver smoking; I shudder to think of the minds of somebody who walks out of Avatar and thinks "I can't believe that Ellen Ripley was smoking!" Simply put, I think a big reason I dislike the Anti-smoking movement is that their movement hinges upon two things: one) explaining to people something that I'm sure most of us have known well from the age of five: that smoking kills, and two) the assumption that everybody who hears the facts will give up. The fact is that, by this point, all the movement has done is separate the proverbial wheat from the chaff; keeping potential smokers who care for their healths from smoking, but leaving a strong subculture of people who smoke despite knowing full well that it will ultimately kill them. The way I see it, the smoking industry thrives today not by lobbyists who try to downplay the effects of smoking, or people who claim that smoking is cool, but by an impulse of slow and steady self-destruction that no amount of recapitulations of "Well you should care, but I don't care" or laws that restrict opportunities to smoke (restricting opportunities being a very poor way of stomping out a problem) will end. Really, I must admit that if a person has a desire to speed up the inevitable, I see no reason to stop him, and by the inevitable, I am not just referring to death, but also to cancer. I learned in my genetics class last semester that even if we could get rid of every other disease, cancer would still kill us. And incidentally, cancer isn't just a slow-killing disease caused by environmental factors; it is ultimately caused by faulty replication of DNA that makes cells diseased, immortal, and willing to infect any other . Even if we got rid of smoking entirely (and I'm not even talking about a Prohibition of cigarettes; I'm talking about a time when we cease to feel the need to smoke), cancer will still be inevitable. In short, I think that if we put everything into perspective, and keep at the forefront "memento mori," my perspective begins to make a lot of sense.

Film Idea of the day: A story I'm in the process of writing: a man walks down North Pier in Chicago, and is followed by another man and jumps into the water, drowning. The puesued is a former Nazi commandant and the pursuer is a camp survivor. This is told from several perspectives; a police report, two witnesses, and the two men involved.

Film Review of the Day: Sherlock Holmes. Well, this movie has certainly shown its work and is, for all its stylised nature, probably has the most accurate performances of Holmes and Watson, even keeping his actual straight pipe and losing the deerstalker. Admittedly, I was somewhat disappointed that they didn't keep his cocaine habit, but considering that he only uses it in two stories (out of 60), and his use of a tincture would be so alien to modern audiences that it wasn't that much of a big loss. And for that matter, I kind of winced at the portrayal of Irene Adler, considering that the movie turned her from the archetypal femme fatale to the resident analogue to Molotov Cocktease from the Venture Brothers, and while I tend to dislike sequel hooks in movies, especially when it leaves the movie as it is incomplete (like in the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy film), I do think it is justified when there really is a sequel in the works, and as it turns out, there is.

Leon the Professional- I recently came across this film while doing research for my Hitman story, and surprisingly, there is little writing on the inner life of the hitman, and I can count the number of nonfiction books I could find centered around hitmen on one hand, but there are a lot of movies about hitmen, and probably, this is one of the best, except perhaps Pulp Fiction, but even Pulp Fiction had surprisingly little actual focus on the hitmen doing their jobs, but this one does. Perhaps this may be the film I draw on the most for that project.

Quote of the Day: "The public health authorities never mention the main reason many Americans have for smoking heavily, which is that smoking is a fairly sure, fairly honorable form of suicide."
_______________Kurt Vonnegut

Link of the Day: Bad Webcomics Wiki. I have just heard of this site reviewing some of the most brain-breakingly insane ideas for webcomics, from stories about wolves who molest children because of their brain tumors, to a very poorly researched Mafia story that rips off Twilight, to incoherently done PSA Comics about law (one sample panel is here. Try to figure out what they're doing.) to just plain inane Anti-semitic propaganda. Please prepare to be offended by the horrors within, both by the subject matter and the supreme awfulness of style.

Issue 163

News: The 11 Best Books of (The many I read in) 2009.
Well, Usually around this time of year, I usually post a list of capsule reviews of films I liked that were released in the previous year. Unfortunately, I didn't go to the theatre a lot last year. I liked most of what I went to, but there were a lot of movies I wanted to see that I didn't get to see, and so far, I've seen none of those, and then there were some I'd heard of that were so horrifying that I wouldn't even torture my mother with them (I'm talking to you, Lars von Trier's Antichrist.) However, I've read a lot of books, and since it's been a while since I've reviewed a book here, I've decided to make a list of some of the best books I'd read in the past year. I read dozens every year, and here are 11 of my favorites.
11. Mental Floss' History of the World: An irreverent Romp through History's Best Bits.
If it doesn't live up to its title, it sure comes damn close! Admittedly, it makes some mistakes, particularly with regards to its remarks about absinthe (the Thujone content in most absinthes isn't really enough to cause hallucinations or death), but it makes up for that by actually contributing more to my understanding of Hegel (due to one paragraph on p. 240)than my attempts to read Hegel.
10. Greatest Show on Earth by Richard Dawkins.
It is a worthy successor to The God Delusion, but still is less appealing to me. While it does present a pretty thorough survey of evidence for evolution, it falls short of its predecessor for a few reasons, including the fact that it devotes the entire first chapter to explaining terminology that he only uses once or twice outside of that chapter, and that he sometimes puts digressional footnotes about how he dislikes things like how the city of Peking is now called Beijing (his age is beginning to show.) This is the only book on the list to actually be published in 2009.
9. Novels in 3 Lines by Felix Feneon.
Few people could have seen the republishing of this coming: century-old news blurbs about events in France, but despite the unusual nature of the work, it is probably one of the most curious discoveries I'd made all this year; it is actually a surprisingly longitudinal discussion of life in 1906 France done in over a thousand two or thee-line blurbs. In terms of brevity, it makes Hemingway seem like Joyce.
8.Paris Spleen and Flowers of Evil by Charles Baudelaire. These works constitute the collected poetry of Charles Baudelaire.
What else is there to say? He treaded where few poets treaded before and his works still maintained interest, particularly when he talked about lesbians in his poems (at one point, he apparently seriously considered naming Flowers of Evil The Lesbians.) However, it appears that, as a prose writer, Paris Spleen will inevitably have more influence on my style.
7. Lamb: The Gospel according to Christ's Childhood Pal Biff by Christopher Moore.
This book really makes a fairly plausible attempt towards figuring out what happened in the "Lost Years of Jesus." Well, since the gospels are silent on everything from Jesus' brief time in Egypt to his baptism (except for a short time where he was debating with priests in the temple at the age of 12), an angel resurrects Jesus' best friend Levi that is Called Biff to write a book to fill in the missing gaps, and what happened to Jesus between the ages of 13 and 30? Simple; Biff and Jesus moved to Asia, where they lived in a palace with a Taoist master, went to a Zen monastery, and poked Untouchables in India. Naturally, he spends little time on JEsus' ministry, but does, of course, focus on the Crucifixion, which is, of course, the climax of the entire story. As it turns out, he gave Jesus a sleeping potion that would mimic death, but this plan is thrown out when a centurion slashes him.
6. We Need to Talk About Kevin by Lionel Shriver.
I read about this book on a list of the ten most disturbing books of all time. It is set as a series of letters from a woman to her husband about the story of how their son Kevin became a killer (he became a school shooter with, of all things, a crossbow.) I won't give away the final twist, but I will say say it does hit hard and everything all falls into place with it. With regards to the PS material in the back, the way I interpret the book is that it is that Kevin somehow knew that he should never have been born and that every event in the book, particularly the final twist, is part of a big plan to make his mother regret ever having borne him. Oh, and Flaxid and Flassid are both considered equally valid by the Dictionary.
5. Essays and Aphorisms by ARthur Schopenhauer.
Well, as Huysmans said in A rebours (a book that would have made the list if I could find a copy), "Schopenhauer had seen the truth!" What else can be said? Well, there is the matter that it is several excerpts from his final book, Parerga und Paralipomena, and probably doesn't have the most judicious selection of excerpts, including several aphorisms, but apparently leaving out the famous story about the porcupines' dilemma. For better or for worse, though, it is probably the only selection of this work in translation that isn't exorbitantly expensive.
4. The Yosemite Murders by Dennis McDougal.
I've read several books about serial killers, but this is without a doubt my favorite. While Carey Stayner may be more obscure than, say, Ted Bundy, but his story is probably more interesting than most, particularly in that it reads like a story from a Greek Tragedy; Carey's brother Steven gets kidnapped, and he grows withdrawn as his family focuses on Steven, but as soon as he returns, he gets jealous of the increased attention Steven gets and the fact that Steven gets away with things he can't (like smoking, drinking, and swearing; in a Mormon home, no less), and this eventually warps him for life and he eventually kills 4 people to gain some attention of his own. I'm surprised that nobody's tried to adapt this story into a movie. I suppose I'll have to do it someday.
3. Ham on Rye, Factotum, and Post Office by Charles Bukowski.
Okay, so it's three novels in one position, but they're still part of one story (and for that matter, are only three novels of five that tell it) the story of Henry Chinaski, Charles Bukowski's author avatar. And, for better or for worse, Bukowski has been a major inspiration to me and my writing career; while every creative writing teacher asks their students to write about their experiences, Bukowski actually managed to take time out to write his experiences, only publishing his first book at 40, and becoming able to write professionally at the age of 50. I recieved a volume of his short stories, but I haven't read it yet, though I intend to soon; hopefully after its companion volume comes in the mail.
2. The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky.
Do I really have to explain why this book is on my list? This is probably the greatest novel of all time, and in fact, one character in Slaugherhouse-five actually claimed that everything there was to know in life was in it, and the exaggeration is only slight, as anybody who has read it knows. If you're going to get it, be sure to get the translation by Pevear and Volokhonsky (For that matter, this advice applies to any other novel by Dostoevsky, Gogol or now, Tolstoi.) The fact that the other translations are still in print is one of two reasons it's in the second place (the other one will be revealed in the Number one spot.)
1. Watchmen by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.
Well, the fact is that this book is as complex as The Brothers Karamazov, except more accessible to people, and much shorter (the other reason it was only at number 2). For this reason, I suppose it lends itself to adaptations better than Brothers Karamazov. At any rate, I got into the graphic novel just before the movie was released, and I finished it in a few hours, and I actually watched the movie with the original book fresh in my mind. What else do I have to say?

Film Idea of the Day: A community holds a marriage lottery. eligible males and females are arbitrarily matched, and anybody who tries to defy the lottery is punished. A couple tries to defy it, and leaves the country for Mexico. A hitman tries to follow them, and they are protected by an eccentric who plays the organ. Ideally, the hitman and the organist would both be played by Klaus Kinski, but I suppose that's the difference between the Ideal and Real for you.

Film Review of the Day: Avatar 3D. I went to see this in 3D, and I admit that the visuals are much better than the story. The story is derivative, but at least James Cameron admitted as such early on, noting that he was heavily influenced by stories about America's genocide of the Natives. Some plot devices, such as the imaginatively-named Unobtainium, though, do detract from the story, such as it is. Doug Walker said of it, "Pretty Visuals+Lame Story=Pretty Lame." However, the way I see it, the story isn't that bad, even if the visuals do overshadow it.

Quote of the Day: "Baby," I said. "I'm a genius but nobody knows it but me."
________________________Charles Bukowski.

Link of the Day: This guy reads the Twilight Series so we don't have to.

Chick Reviews: Crazy Wolf- An Indian woman named Mary gets Saved, and has a shaman put a hit out on her. The shaman turns into a werewolf, but an angel changes him back and she Saves him. Surprisingly, the kids in the village informed Mary about the hit, but not so much to warn her as to gloat about it.