Issue 57
News: Ted "The Elephant Pastor" Haggard in sex scandal.
The pastor of New Life Church and inspiree of my forthcoming play about the anti-semitism in the USAF academy, Ted Haggard, aka The Elephant Pastor, for reasons which should be obvious by anybody who looks at him, has been outed by a man named Mike Jones who claims that over the last three years, they had been having a once-monthly affair, sometimes while taking Crystal Meth. It should be noted that Haggard is a vocal opponent of Same-Sex marriage and Homosexuality in general, as a man who has been known to speak with pResident Bush for an hour every monday. So far, he has admitted to purchasing the Crystal Meth, as supported by a voicemail which shows him calling for some meth, although he still denies using it, as if there was anything but using it as a recreational drug that it was used for. He stepped down from his post as head of the New Life Church and National Association of Evangelicals, which has several million members, on Thursday and was fired just yesterday from the church, which claimed to have proved beyond a doubt that he had broken the by-laws of the church and had to leave the church. Seeing what has happened to many previous evangelists in the past, all I can say is that he'll be back. It'll most likely be on a smaller scale than before, but he'll be back.
Band Name of the Day: Jagshemash!. It is a greeting that Borat uses frequently in his new movie, which is reviewed below.
Film Review of the Day: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazahkstan. Until recently, I wasn't much of a fan of Sascha Baron Cohen or his characters. But then I saw him on Saturday Night Live last week and when I saw how much he was creeping out my mother, I just knew I had to see the movie. In the movie itself, Kazahkstani television personality Borat and his producer Azamat are sent to America to film a documentary in New York, but then he sees Pamela Anderson on TV and when his wife dies (she was eaten by a Bear), so Borat decides to Pursue and marry her. When Azamat discovers his true plans, they have a naked fight across the hotel they're in, and so he leaves, leaving Borat to Hitchhike and he is picked up by college frat boys who show Borat that Pamela isn't a virgin, and he gets depressed, but is picked up again when he attends a Pentecostal revival meeting and reunites with Azamat, and then they managed to catch up with her, but she escapes their advances. Borat then marries a prostitute he met earlier in the movie.
Film Idea: In keeping with the News story for today, here is a plan for the ending of my "Christ-Killers" play about Ted Haggard's recent scandal involving the USAF academy: He is caught in the act of Gay sex and the pastor loses his church, while the reporter gains nationwide clout.
Quote of the Day: We don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity, it's written in the Bible.
__________Ted Haggard
Link of the Day: Borat's official homepage.
Tract Reviews: The Unwelcome Guest- A church deacon is drawn into the world of the freemasons, and after a year, his wife is distressed at the fact that he seems to love her less, and the pastor Saves him, as per usual in the tracts, and claims that Masonry is a Satanic cult.
Who Loves You- Who Loves ya, baby? it's the Black version of the tract "A Love story", which is not even close to related to the sappy 1970 film of the same name.
The pastor of New Life Church and inspiree of my forthcoming play about the anti-semitism in the USAF academy, Ted Haggard, aka The Elephant Pastor, for reasons which should be obvious by anybody who looks at him, has been outed by a man named Mike Jones who claims that over the last three years, they had been having a once-monthly affair, sometimes while taking Crystal Meth. It should be noted that Haggard is a vocal opponent of Same-Sex marriage and Homosexuality in general, as a man who has been known to speak with pResident Bush for an hour every monday. So far, he has admitted to purchasing the Crystal Meth, as supported by a voicemail which shows him calling for some meth, although he still denies using it, as if there was anything but using it as a recreational drug that it was used for. He stepped down from his post as head of the New Life Church and National Association of Evangelicals, which has several million members, on Thursday and was fired just yesterday from the church, which claimed to have proved beyond a doubt that he had broken the by-laws of the church and had to leave the church. Seeing what has happened to many previous evangelists in the past, all I can say is that he'll be back. It'll most likely be on a smaller scale than before, but he'll be back.
Band Name of the Day: Jagshemash!. It is a greeting that Borat uses frequently in his new movie, which is reviewed below.
Film Review of the Day: Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazahkstan. Until recently, I wasn't much of a fan of Sascha Baron Cohen or his characters. But then I saw him on Saturday Night Live last week and when I saw how much he was creeping out my mother, I just knew I had to see the movie. In the movie itself, Kazahkstani television personality Borat and his producer Azamat are sent to America to film a documentary in New York, but then he sees Pamela Anderson on TV and when his wife dies (she was eaten by a Bear), so Borat decides to Pursue and marry her. When Azamat discovers his true plans, they have a naked fight across the hotel they're in, and so he leaves, leaving Borat to Hitchhike and he is picked up by college frat boys who show Borat that Pamela isn't a virgin, and he gets depressed, but is picked up again when he attends a Pentecostal revival meeting and reunites with Azamat, and then they managed to catch up with her, but she escapes their advances. Borat then marries a prostitute he met earlier in the movie.
Film Idea: In keeping with the News story for today, here is a plan for the ending of my "Christ-Killers" play about Ted Haggard's recent scandal involving the USAF academy: He is caught in the act of Gay sex and the pastor loses his church, while the reporter gains nationwide clout.
Quote of the Day: We don't have to debate about what we should think about homosexual activity, it's written in the Bible.
__________Ted Haggard
Link of the Day: Borat's official homepage.
Tract Reviews: The Unwelcome Guest- A church deacon is drawn into the world of the freemasons, and after a year, his wife is distressed at the fact that he seems to love her less, and the pastor Saves him, as per usual in the tracts, and claims that Masonry is a Satanic cult.
Who Loves You- Who Loves ya, baby? it's the Black version of the tract "A Love story", which is not even close to related to the sappy 1970 film of the same name.
Labels: Figures, Religious Right, Sex, Tract Reviews
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