issue 49
News: Marriage and why Russian Roulette is a better choice.
Fairly recently, a constitutional amendment went through congess which, if passed, would ultimately ban Gay marriage. Today, I ask the question: Why should Heterosexuals be allowed to marry, much less gays? I doubt if you will still remember what happened two years previous, when the amendment previously went through congress, there was a show that had recently aired called Married By America, where people would actually call in to get two random people married based on the complete whims of people who obviously did not know anybody on the show. Also, "singing" sensation Britney Spears, who had gone on record as saying she would save herself for marriage, even when performing raunchy routines on stage, married a childhood friend while in a drunken stupor, and promptly divorced him within 55 hours. Clearly, Gay marriage doesn't mess up the sacrament of marriage as much as heterosexual marriage. Naturally, the author of such an amendment is an expert on the subject: He has been married and divorced twice, and has been photographed licking whipped cream off of a stripper at his '94 inaugural party, and was a major player in Clinton's Impeachment scandal when the Republican party decided that sex that would have been otherwise perfectly legal, should cost a Democratic president his job, ultimately adding that war crimes by a Republican should grant a second term, but I digress. Either way, marriage failure rate is at 50%, which means that the odds of a divorce in newlyweds are equal to those of getting "Heads" in a coin toss. I should point out that the odds of losing Russian Roulette, the kind that killed Johnny Ace and Christopher Walken are only 16.7% (For the record, I am not encouraging Russian Roulette among readers.) Indeed, I am sure that the percentage of marriages that do not work is much higher, considering that many married couples only stay together "for the children" or because their religion forbids it (Like Catholics and Mormons), and that many other marriages end in the death of a partner either before they get a chance to hate each other, or from death through the hands of the surviving partner. In any case, I am sure that long happy marriages are incredibly rare.
Band Name of the Day: The Töot Swoets. Comes from a musical number from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, with the addition of heavy metal umlauts and intentional misspelling.
Film Idea of the Day: The Woyczek fragments. A screenplay based on the existing fragments of Buchner's Woyczek, in vignette style.
Review of the Day: The Boondocks. I recently got into an Adult swim series based on Aaron Macgruder's comic strip. The series is about how an Robert Freeman gains custody of his two grandkids (one is a black revolutionary and the other is a gangsta wannabe). The series remains funny even after many viewings of episodes (I have seen each episode at least three times). Some of the show's funniest moments come in the episodes starring Charlie Murphy (Chapelle's Show) as Ed Wuncler III, who is the show's resident George W. Bush parody, who frequently goes on crime sprees with crimes with his best Friend Gin Rummy (played by Samuel L. Jackson) ranging from petty theft to murder to war crimes (He went to Iraq) which go unreported because his family basically owns the cops and the town.
Quote of the day: "Control over women... Is control over Bitches!"
_______________Ed Wunceler III, The Boondocks.
Link of the Day: A series of humorous dissections of Chick tracts (my favorite dissection is of One way.)
Fairly recently, a constitutional amendment went through congess which, if passed, would ultimately ban Gay marriage. Today, I ask the question: Why should Heterosexuals be allowed to marry, much less gays? I doubt if you will still remember what happened two years previous, when the amendment previously went through congress, there was a show that had recently aired called Married By America, where people would actually call in to get two random people married based on the complete whims of people who obviously did not know anybody on the show. Also, "singing" sensation Britney Spears, who had gone on record as saying she would save herself for marriage, even when performing raunchy routines on stage, married a childhood friend while in a drunken stupor, and promptly divorced him within 55 hours. Clearly, Gay marriage doesn't mess up the sacrament of marriage as much as heterosexual marriage. Naturally, the author of such an amendment is an expert on the subject: He has been married and divorced twice, and has been photographed licking whipped cream off of a stripper at his '94 inaugural party, and was a major player in Clinton's Impeachment scandal when the Republican party decided that sex that would have been otherwise perfectly legal, should cost a Democratic president his job, ultimately adding that war crimes by a Republican should grant a second term, but I digress. Either way, marriage failure rate is at 50%, which means that the odds of a divorce in newlyweds are equal to those of getting "Heads" in a coin toss. I should point out that the odds of losing Russian Roulette, the kind that killed Johnny Ace and Christopher Walken are only 16.7% (For the record, I am not encouraging Russian Roulette among readers.) Indeed, I am sure that the percentage of marriages that do not work is much higher, considering that many married couples only stay together "for the children" or because their religion forbids it (Like Catholics and Mormons), and that many other marriages end in the death of a partner either before they get a chance to hate each other, or from death through the hands of the surviving partner. In any case, I am sure that long happy marriages are incredibly rare.
Band Name of the Day: The Töot Swoets. Comes from a musical number from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, with the addition of heavy metal umlauts and intentional misspelling.
Film Idea of the Day: The Woyczek fragments. A screenplay based on the existing fragments of Buchner's Woyczek, in vignette style.
Review of the Day: The Boondocks. I recently got into an Adult swim series based on Aaron Macgruder's comic strip. The series is about how an Robert Freeman gains custody of his two grandkids (one is a black revolutionary and the other is a gangsta wannabe). The series remains funny even after many viewings of episodes (I have seen each episode at least three times). Some of the show's funniest moments come in the episodes starring Charlie Murphy (Chapelle's Show) as Ed Wuncler III, who is the show's resident George W. Bush parody, who frequently goes on crime sprees with crimes with his best Friend Gin Rummy (played by Samuel L. Jackson) ranging from petty theft to murder to war crimes (He went to Iraq) which go unreported because his family basically owns the cops and the town.
Quote of the day: "Control over women... Is control over Bitches!"
_______________Ed Wunceler III, The Boondocks.
Link of the Day: A series of humorous dissections of Chick tracts (my favorite dissection is of One way.)
Labels: Marriage
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