April Fools' Day Message.

For the past century and a quarter, since H.G. Welles wrote his opus "The Time Machine," people have wondered whether time travel is actually possible, and if so, whether traveling to the past is possible or just the future. And after Christine Jorgenson had her sex change and the public was informed of how sex change operations really work, there has been the question of whether it is possible for sex change operations to be totally effective (i.e. whether it was possible to make a male into a genotypic female). Well, in my spare time I have been working on both problems for my master plan, and in the past week, I think I figured out the problems that would make both time travel and fully-functional sex change operations possible. How will they work, you ask? Well, I'm not telling you, but I have decided to explain why I was working on the two problems: I would have my sex changed, and then, I would use the time machine to go back into time to the 1980s, and I would create a time paradox by becoming MY OWN MOTHER! Why? Dammit, if people can accept that Russia would start a nuclear war with Israel without provocation, only for God to render their entire nuclear arsenal useless, all without sparking any debate about miracles, do I really have to explain why I would want to carry out so insane a plan? And I suppose you have to ask, did you really expect to succeed in this plan? And I say unto ye, I did it 35 minutes ago.