Issue 162
News: It bears repeating.
Several issues ago, I remarked that a scene in Left Behind was one of the things which truly made it one of the most horrible works I've ever read (although an infamous Harry Potter fanfic seems to have replaced it at the top.) However, I think it bears repeating that the scene is one of the worst I've ever read in a book for several reasons, which I will detail here. The scene has reporter Buck Williams doing his job, a very rare occurrence, and interviewing the scientist (Chaim Rosenzweig, who, as we later learn, dabbles in everything from botany to nuclear physics, to Romanian government) whose fertilizer has turned Israel into an agricultural center on par with the Midwest. This has somehow not only led to peace in the Middle East, but has apparently led to at least some states being annexed by Israel. And it all goes downhill from there, because during the interview, a gaggle of Russian bomber planes carrying all of the country's nuclear weapons (enough firepower to end life on earth several times over) soars overhead. The authors never explain why this should occur, but it is implied that it is done out of spite. Sure, there may be no valentines between Russia and Israel, but somehow I doubt that even nuking Israel once is in the cards. For that matter, doesn't Israel have nuclear weapons of its own? And hell, even if Israel was defenseless and Russia's nukes didn't end life on Earth, using all those nuclear weapons on a coastal nation like Israel is bound to have a lot of adverse effects on the Mediterranean. Maybe the entire Mediterranean would be unfit to fish in, and that could cost a lot of livelihoods of a lot of Fishermen in Italy, Greece, or other Southern European countries, and maybe, since the UK and France have nuclear weapons, and in this case, Russia would have wasted all theirs, a nuclear war between the EU and Russia could happen. However, all this is averted when the hand of God appears and destroys the planes, leaving the Israelis unharmed, and some harmless powder rains from the sky (the Authors being oblivious that powder falling from the sky after a nuclear explosion is most likely Nuclear Fallout.) However, all of this could be forgiven if not for one thing: It doesn't change anybody's mind about God. Really. Here is one of the most unambiguously miraculous events possible, and according to the text, nobody seems to bat an eyelash, and churches don't seem to have grown.
Film Idea of the Day: Gaia's revenge. Possibly the most intentionally stupid film idea I've put on this blog. Simply put, "don't pollute, because if you do, the planet will ******* kill you."
Review of the Day: My Immortal. Holy Crap. The fact that this story even exists makes me weep for humanity. The utter disregard for the Harry Potter Canon (incidentally, the lead three characters from the books, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, are renamed Vampire, Diabolo, and B'Loody Mary Smith, and have apparently defected to Slytherin), its own self-contained continuity, and even spelling and grammar aside, this would still be the most idiotic thing I've ever read because the plot is 1/3 descriptions of the main narrator's wardrobe, 1/3 sex scenes that read like Beavis and Butthead wrote them (like "he put his thingy into my you-know-what"), and 1/3 Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (our author surrogate, whose name is rarely spelled correctly, and who is not related to Gerard Way, although she wishes he was because he's hot) being "Goffik," attempting suicide, and attending the same My Chemical Romance concert several times.
Quote: "I laffed statistically."
___________An actual quote from My Immortal.
Link of the Day: If you really want to read My Immortal, here goes.
Several issues ago, I remarked that a scene in Left Behind was one of the things which truly made it one of the most horrible works I've ever read (although an infamous Harry Potter fanfic seems to have replaced it at the top.) However, I think it bears repeating that the scene is one of the worst I've ever read in a book for several reasons, which I will detail here. The scene has reporter Buck Williams doing his job, a very rare occurrence, and interviewing the scientist (Chaim Rosenzweig, who, as we later learn, dabbles in everything from botany to nuclear physics, to Romanian government) whose fertilizer has turned Israel into an agricultural center on par with the Midwest. This has somehow not only led to peace in the Middle East, but has apparently led to at least some states being annexed by Israel. And it all goes downhill from there, because during the interview, a gaggle of Russian bomber planes carrying all of the country's nuclear weapons (enough firepower to end life on earth several times over) soars overhead. The authors never explain why this should occur, but it is implied that it is done out of spite. Sure, there may be no valentines between Russia and Israel, but somehow I doubt that even nuking Israel once is in the cards. For that matter, doesn't Israel have nuclear weapons of its own? And hell, even if Israel was defenseless and Russia's nukes didn't end life on Earth, using all those nuclear weapons on a coastal nation like Israel is bound to have a lot of adverse effects on the Mediterranean. Maybe the entire Mediterranean would be unfit to fish in, and that could cost a lot of livelihoods of a lot of Fishermen in Italy, Greece, or other Southern European countries, and maybe, since the UK and France have nuclear weapons, and in this case, Russia would have wasted all theirs, a nuclear war between the EU and Russia could happen. However, all this is averted when the hand of God appears and destroys the planes, leaving the Israelis unharmed, and some harmless powder rains from the sky (the Authors being oblivious that powder falling from the sky after a nuclear explosion is most likely Nuclear Fallout.) However, all of this could be forgiven if not for one thing: It doesn't change anybody's mind about God. Really. Here is one of the most unambiguously miraculous events possible, and according to the text, nobody seems to bat an eyelash, and churches don't seem to have grown.
Film Idea of the Day: Gaia's revenge. Possibly the most intentionally stupid film idea I've put on this blog. Simply put, "don't pollute, because if you do, the planet will ******* kill you."
Review of the Day: My Immortal. Holy Crap. The fact that this story even exists makes me weep for humanity. The utter disregard for the Harry Potter Canon (incidentally, the lead three characters from the books, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, are renamed Vampire, Diabolo, and B'Loody Mary Smith, and have apparently defected to Slytherin), its own self-contained continuity, and even spelling and grammar aside, this would still be the most idiotic thing I've ever read because the plot is 1/3 descriptions of the main narrator's wardrobe, 1/3 sex scenes that read like Beavis and Butthead wrote them (like "he put his thingy into my you-know-what"), and 1/3 Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (our author surrogate, whose name is rarely spelled correctly, and who is not related to Gerard Way, although she wishes he was because he's hot) being "Goffik," attempting suicide, and attending the same My Chemical Romance concert several times.
Quote: "I laffed statistically."
___________An actual quote from My Immortal.
Link of the Day: If you really want to read My Immortal, here goes.
Labels: Books, Figures, Religious Right
posted by DerekAxe at 9:18 PM
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