Issue 121

News/ Review of the Day: The Bratz Cult. (This issue may or may not have been guest authored by James Lipton.)
When I first discovered this movie in the trailers leading up to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, I assumed that it would either be a classic on par with ...if, or the biggest bomb dropped since they stopped bomb testing in Nevada. Little did I know that it would be both. It would only be a matter of a few months before I would be able to watch it when I got the DVD (since my usual channels of gaining such films had failed me), shocking my mother even more than the purchase of Natural Born Killers I had announced to her only moments before. What I saw astounded me. With its blatantly obviously failed attempts at satire (from the school-enforced cliques [including, bizarrely, students who "liked to dress like dinosaurs", which meant putting dinosaur paraphernalia on standard clothes] to blatantly obvious homages to other current fixtures of teenage culture, like High School Musical and Super Sweet Sixteen) and completely outlandish sights treated as if they were completely normal (including several of the aforementioned cliques, a girl undergoing her second Sweet Sixteen on a whim, and contortionist-violinists), I am surprised that there aren't more people who share opinions of this film as I do: It's so bad, it's good (or, in a neologism one student creates, "awesomeful"), on par with virtually everything of note that Ed Wood has done or Manos: The Hands of Fate. It's as if the makers of the film were playing an elaborate joke, hoping that the barely-pubescent teenyboppers this film seemed to be marked towards would get the story of friendship, but that everybody else would notice what I did, but they clearly didn't, if most of the reviews of this movie I've seen are any note. It's about time that people started noticing this movie for what it is; a trainwreck so bad, it somehow turns out good. Maybe in a few years, this movie will end up undergoing a second birth, with another run in theaters, people dressing up as and quoting characters in the movie, and possibly even a drinking game where the viewer must drink a shot of vodka whenever something absurd happens, and double whenever the characters make note of it. Of course, this may be too much, especially the drinking game, but it could happen. In fact, if this manages to become common enough, I would be quite pleasantly surprised.

Band Name of the day: Awesomeful. From the above movie I just reviewed/borderline hagiographied.

Film Idea of the Day: A Teenager rises to fame, his parents manipulate him for his money and fame, sometimes blackmailing him, and he ends up defiantly exiting it all, only to end up like Lemuel Pitkin in A Cool Million post-mortem.

Quote of the Day: "My South Will Rise Again"
_______Robert E. Lee, Squidbillies, this is the worst double endendre ever in what may possibly be the most bizarre Adult Swim ever.

Link of the Day: A short listing of some of the most evil sections of The Bible.