Issue 116

News: Was Bayside Hell? : an Experiment in Pop Theology.
You may have heard of the legend that the seven castaways of Gilligan's Island were all created to correspond to one of the seven deadly sins. However, I may have found a more interesting analogue of the Seven Deadly Sins in the main characters of the show Saved by the Bell.
I'll start with the most obvious one.
The sin of Lust is personified by Kelly. While Zack did have more romantic partners on the show, for the most part, except in the shows with Tori or Leah Remini, these girls were usually secondary girls whom he dated primarily because Kelly was out of reach, and even when she seemed to be on the verge of being steady with Zack, she usually ended up dumping him for some other guy. If the show had continued after their wedding, I'm sure that Kelly would have, at the very least, cheated on him after a few episodes where their relationship is going well. In an amazing coincidence, a scene from Dante involving the sin of lust (penitents walk through fire) echoes, to an extent, a scene with Kelly, being accused in a dream of killing Slater's chameleon, is sentenced to walk upon a frying pan.
Jessie, however, personifies two sins. The more obvious sin is the sin of Pride, which she exhibits in her extreme pride in being one of the, if not the, top students at Bayside, and the fact that she often gets on the verge of a nervous breakdown when this is threatened even to a small extent, often being exhibited in the second sin, Gluttony. This sin is most obvious in the episode where she is rejected by most of her college choices and copes by eating copius amounts of Junk food, to the point where her locker is filled with it by the time only one choice remains.
Zack personifies most obviously the sin of Greed, as is evidenced by his constant scheming to get money, often sacrificing his friendships and sometimes what he doesn't even have in an attempt to get what he wants, especially in the episode where he shoots the video dating tape, and, albeit accidentally, manages to include every girl in Bayside (Kelly and Jessie included).
Lisa is another obvious one (although this may simply be stretching). Her sin is sloth, typified in her borderline slacker attitude, a result of being a child of bourgeoisie parents, most often shown in her refusal to work (except reluctantly to pay off a credit card debt), and cook (in her words, "All I know how to make are reservations", although, like many things in SBTB continuity, this is contradicted in another episode where she claims that she chooses to not cook), undoubtedly a result of her upbringing.
Slater typifies the sin of Wrath. This goes hand-in-hand with his being a wrestler in the show, and a military brat who somehow managed to stay in one place after being assigned to several places throughout his life. This is showcased most often in the aforementioned dating tape episode, wherein he shows in graphic (for the show) detail, what he will do to the person who created the tape (and specifically, who put Jessie in it), although he knew full well who was responsible, and it is somewhat unclear how much of this is part of the act that was formulated to teach Zack his lesson.
Finally, Screech personifies Envy, although this is much less obvious than the six other sins, this is apparent to a small degree in some episodes, most visibly in the episode where Zack enlists most of the gang in an extracurricular Marine Corps program, and after Zack deserted, Screech speaks of how much he idolized Zack up until that point.
Perhaps, with this in mind, perhaps the comparatively benign Belding was, in reality, Satan himself, and that Bayside was meant to be Hell (or at least a part of it). Perhaps Brandon Tartikoff (who created the show) had this in mind when he created the show. Perhaps I may be putting way too much thought into this.

Band Name of the Day: Bad Baby Names. This came from a strange book I read about in the paper and managed to get recently. This would work best if the members all used pseudonyms based on the names in that book, or improve on them, resulting in a name like Marquis Marq de Sade.

Film Idea of the Day: The Princess and the Powder. I can only describe it as being Roman Holiday meets Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. As you may have guessed, Cocaine and the conspicuous consumption thereof is involved very much in the book.

Film Review of the Day: Tristram Shandy: A Cock and Bull Story. I remember it playing down the street from the theater where I saw Arlo Guthrie at Woodstock a few years back (specifically, Woodstock "Fauz Punxsutawney", IL and 2006, not the 1969 festival), and I must say that I just saw it for the first time last week. Surprisingly, they managed to get some of the famously unfilmable novel into the movie, although they did focus primarily on the making of said movie and how impossible it was to make. This movie gets points for simply trying to film this book.

Quote of the Day: "If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work."
__________George Carlin.

Link of the Day: A site explaining the legend inspiring today's entry.