Originally written on July 18, 2005
News- Recently, while reading through Al Franken’s Lies and the Lying Liars who Tell them, (A book about how liberal ex-SNL funnyman Al Franken immerses himself in right-wing rhetoric), I read a chapter where he brings a younger friend to an ultra-Right Wing College named Bob Jones university, claiming he was the soon-to-be-stepfather of a prospective student (played by the younger friend). After reading, I went to wikipedia to see if it was really as bad as Al Said they were, and although they have recently decided to become accredited (which they weren’t before), It was very much the same. I have a list of General rules and I will give them to you with my comments in italics
* All wireless access to the Internet is forbidden since all
Internet use must go through the University's filtered access.
This would only pertain to cell phone / satellite phone use, since
the University does provide Wi-fi service. This is 1984.
* An email account is provided for each student. Due to the flood of
objectionable content coming through outside email services,
students may use only this filtered campus email system. Please
define “objectionable”, please.
* Students are required to be in their own rooms and quiet at 11 pm.
All lights must be out by midnight. OK, this one is not extreme.
* For the sake of accountability, students MUST "check out" when
they leave the campus. Those with Junior and Senior privileges do
not have to "check out" between 7AM and 7 PM. Neither is this
one, but keep reading.
* Posters of movie and music stars and fashion models are not
permitted. This won’t end well.
* Music must be compatible with the University's music standards:
o New Age, jazz, rock, and country music is not permitted.
Dave Brubeck, the Beach boys, and Hank Williams. Satan
incarnate. Who knew? In fact it’s not true. (Hey I rhymed!)
o Contemporary Christian music is not permitted (e.g., Michael
W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, WOW Worship, and so forth).
Huh?
* Televisions and DVD/videocassette players are not permitted in the
residence halls; computer DVD players may NOT be used to view
movies. OK. Now it’s personal.
* All weapons must be turned in for storage. Trigger locks are
required for pistols. Fireworks are not permitted on campus.
Anything can be used as a weapon. The only possible way this can
work is if the students are completely without limbs or a head.
* Residence hall students may not watch videos above a G rating when
visiting homes in town and may NOT attend movie theaters. OK. Now
it’s Personal II: Electric Boogaloo.
In addition, they are intolerant of people who hold beliefs different from their own (ie Catholics and Liberals like me, among others.) Also, they forbid hand Holding hands, because it leads to kissing, among other things. They say these rules are for leading a Christ like path, or for becoming so repressed you turn into Dennis Hopper.
Band Name of the Day- LONG HAIRED FREAKY PEOPLE. This is a reference to the sole hit by the five man Electrical Band, “Signs”. There is one line going “/And the Sign said/ Long Haired Freaky People/ Need not apply.”
Film Idea of the day- The Hollywood Hills Tales. 8 people go to Humphrey Bogart’s ( a famous actor form the 1940s) grave and tell eight stories, which are modernized versions of Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. Each is told by the modernized equivalent of the original speaker. Tales: Knight’s Tale (told by a soldier), Miller’s Tale (told by a baker), the Reeve’s Tale (told by a sheriff), The Wife of Bath’s Tale (as told by a housewife), The Clerk’s Tale (as told by a college student), The Franklin’s Tale (as told by a businessman), The Pardoner’s Tale (as told by a priest), and The Manciple’s Tale (as Told by a real estate king).
Review of the Day- Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I saw the film just recently, and it was even better than the original 1971 film, which has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. It was also unusually faithful to the original book, despite the fact that in the film, Willy Wonka is bitter about his early life and family. But the only thing that I wished that was in the original, but not in this one was the boat ride, although it was in the movie, it was just fast riding through pipes that changed colors, although in the original, it was a full-fledged freakout with Wonka reciting a creepy poem that even freaked out the cast and crew, despite it being in the book. Also, I thought they would have had a TV report of the Faker from Russia, like in the original film (though from Paraguay), where they cut to Paraguayan TV news, in which a man who vaguely looked like John Kerry showed the picture of the-then-presumed-missing Nazi War Criminal Martin Bormann.
Quote of the Day- In lieu of an actual quote, I will write an imaginary dialog between me and the Director of The Deer Hunter , Heavens Gate, and not much else, Michael Cimino.
[I spot Michael Cimino on the Street. I run over to him]
Me: MR. CIMINO!
(He notices me.)
Cimino: Hi. Who are you?
Me: I’m El Dirko|/|\aticque. I’m a big fan of the Deer Hunter.
Cimino: Why, Thank you.
(I hit him in the groin with my knee)
Cimino: OW! What was that for?
Me: For making Heaven’s Gate.
Link of the Day- www.hollywoodmegastore.com
This is mainly just a site with decorative film-related items.
* All wireless access to the Internet is forbidden since all
Internet use must go through the University's filtered access.
This would only pertain to cell phone / satellite phone use, since
the University does provide Wi-fi service. This is 1984.
* An email account is provided for each student. Due to the flood of
objectionable content coming through outside email services,
students may use only this filtered campus email system. Please
define “objectionable”, please.
* Students are required to be in their own rooms and quiet at 11 pm.
All lights must be out by midnight. OK, this one is not extreme.
* For the sake of accountability, students MUST "check out" when
they leave the campus. Those with Junior and Senior privileges do
not have to "check out" between 7AM and 7 PM. Neither is this
one, but keep reading.
* Posters of movie and music stars and fashion models are not
permitted. This won’t end well.
* Music must be compatible with the University's music standards:
o New Age, jazz, rock, and country music is not permitted.
Dave Brubeck, the Beach boys, and Hank Williams. Satan
incarnate. Who knew? In fact it’s not true. (Hey I rhymed!)
o Contemporary Christian music is not permitted (e.g., Michael
W. Smith, Steven Curtis Chapman, WOW Worship, and so forth).
Huh?
* Televisions and DVD/videocassette players are not permitted in the
residence halls; computer DVD players may NOT be used to view
movies. OK. Now it’s personal.
* All weapons must be turned in for storage. Trigger locks are
required for pistols. Fireworks are not permitted on campus.
Anything can be used as a weapon. The only possible way this can
work is if the students are completely without limbs or a head.
* Residence hall students may not watch videos above a G rating when
visiting homes in town and may NOT attend movie theaters. OK. Now
it’s Personal II: Electric Boogaloo.
In addition, they are intolerant of people who hold beliefs different from their own (ie Catholics and Liberals like me, among others.) Also, they forbid hand Holding hands, because it leads to kissing, among other things. They say these rules are for leading a Christ like path, or for becoming so repressed you turn into Dennis Hopper.
Band Name of the Day- LONG HAIRED FREAKY PEOPLE. This is a reference to the sole hit by the five man Electrical Band, “Signs”. There is one line going “/And the Sign said/ Long Haired Freaky People/ Need not apply.”
Film Idea of the day- The Hollywood Hills Tales. 8 people go to Humphrey Bogart’s ( a famous actor form the 1940s) grave and tell eight stories, which are modernized versions of Chaucer’s The Canterbury Tales. Each is told by the modernized equivalent of the original speaker. Tales: Knight’s Tale (told by a soldier), Miller’s Tale (told by a baker), the Reeve’s Tale (told by a sheriff), The Wife of Bath’s Tale (as told by a housewife), The Clerk’s Tale (as told by a college student), The Franklin’s Tale (as told by a businessman), The Pardoner’s Tale (as told by a priest), and The Manciple’s Tale (as Told by a real estate king).
Review of the Day- Charlie and The Chocolate Factory. I saw the film just recently, and it was even better than the original 1971 film, which has always been a guilty pleasure of mine. It was also unusually faithful to the original book, despite the fact that in the film, Willy Wonka is bitter about his early life and family. But the only thing that I wished that was in the original, but not in this one was the boat ride, although it was in the movie, it was just fast riding through pipes that changed colors, although in the original, it was a full-fledged freakout with Wonka reciting a creepy poem that even freaked out the cast and crew, despite it being in the book. Also, I thought they would have had a TV report of the Faker from Russia, like in the original film (though from Paraguay), where they cut to Paraguayan TV news, in which a man who vaguely looked like John Kerry showed the picture of the-then-presumed-missing Nazi War Criminal Martin Bormann.
Quote of the Day- In lieu of an actual quote, I will write an imaginary dialog between me and the Director of The Deer Hunter , Heavens Gate, and not much else, Michael Cimino.
[I spot Michael Cimino on the Street. I run over to him]
Me: MR. CIMINO!
(He notices me.)
Cimino: Hi. Who are you?
Me: I’m El Dirko|/|\aticque. I’m a big fan of the Deer Hunter.
Cimino: Why, Thank you.
(I hit him in the groin with my knee)
Cimino: OW! What was that for?
Me: For making Heaven’s Gate.
Link of the Day- www.hollywoodmegastore.com
This is mainly just a site with decorative film-related items.
Labels: Religious Right
posted by DerekAxe at 2:24 PM
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PLEASE STOP SPAMMING MY BLOG!!!!!!!
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